How To Waste Your Theological Education

Found this post while surfing this morning. Alot of it applies to life in general and ministry too. Food for thought.

1. Cultivate pride by writing only to impress your professors instead of writing to better understand and more clearly communicate truth.

2. Perfect the fine art of corner-cutting by not really researching for a paper but instead writing your uneducated and unsubstantiated opinions and filling them in with strategically placed footnotes.

3. Mistake the amount of education you receive with the actual knowledge you obtain. Keep telling yourself, “I’ll really start learning this stuff when I do my Th.M or my Ph.D.”

4. Nurture an attitude of superiority, competition, and condescension toward fellow seminary students. Secretly speak ill of them with friends and with your spouse.

5. Regularly question the wisdom and competency of your professors. Find ways to disrespect your professors by questioning them publicly in class and by trying to make them look foolish.

6. Neglect personal worship, Bible reading and prayer.

7. Don’t evangelize your neighbors.

8. Practice misquoting and misrepresenting positions and ideas you don’t agree with. Be lazy and don’t attempt to understand opposing views; instead, nurse your prejudices and exalt your opinions by superficial reading and listening.

9. Give your opinion as often as possible - especially in class. Ask questions that show off your knowledge instead of questions that demonstrate a genuine inquiry.

10. Speak of heretical movements, teachers, and doctrine with an air of disdain and levity.

11. Find better things to do than serve in your local church.

12. Fill your life with questionable movies, television, internet, and music.

13. Set aside fellowship and accountability with fellow brothers in Christ.

14. Let your study of divine things become dull, boring, lifeless, and mundane.

15. Chip away at your integrity by signing your school’s covenant and then breaking it under the delusion that, “Those rules are legalistic anyway.”

16. Don’t read to learn; read only to refute what you believe is wrong.

17. Convince yourself that you already know all this stuff.

18. Just study. Don’t exercise, spend time with your family, or work.

19. Save major papers for the last possible moment so that you can ensure that you don’t really learn anything by writing them.

20. Don’t waste your time forming friendships with your professors and those older and wiser than you.

21. Make the mistake of thinking that your education guarantees your success in ministry.

22. Don’t study devotionally. You’ll never make it as a big time scholar if you do that. Scholars need to be cool, detached, and unbiased - certainly not Jesus freaks.

23. Day dream about future opportunities to the point that you get nothing out of your current opportunity to learn God’s Word.

24. Do other things while in class instead of listening - like homework, scheduling, letter-writing, and email.

25. Spend more time blogging than studying.

26. Avoid chapel and other opportunities for corporate worship.

27. Argue angrily with those who don’t see things your way. Whatever you do, don’t read and meditate on II Timothy 2:24-26 and James 3:13-18 as you prepare for ministry.

28. Set your hopes on an easy, cushy pastorate for when you graduate. Determine now not to obey God when he calls you to serve in a difficult church.

29. Look forward to the day when you won’t have to concern yourself with all this theology and when you will be able to just “preach Jesus.”

30. Forget that your primary responsibility is care for your family through provision, shepherding, and leadership.

31. Master Calvin, Owen, and Edwards, but not the Law, Prophets, and Apostles.

32. Gain knowledge in order to merely teach others. Don’t expend the effort it takes to deal with your own heart.

33. Pick apart your pastor’s sermons every week. Only point out his mistakes and his poor theological reasoning so you don’t have to be convicted by anything he says.

34. Protect yourself from real fellowship by only talking about theology and never about your personal spiritual issues, sin, and struggles.

35. Comfort yourself with the delusion that you will start seriously dealing with sin as soon as you become a pastor; right now it’s not really that big a deal.

36. Don’t serve the poor, visit the sick, or care for widows and orphans - save that stuff for the uneducated, non-seminary trained, lay Christians.

37. Keep telling yourself that you want to preach, but don’t ever seek opportunities to preach, especially at local rescue missions and nursing homes. Wait until your church candidacy to preach your first sermon.

38. Let envy keep you from profiting from sermons preached by fellow students.

39. Resent behind-the-scenes, unrecognized service. Only serve in areas where you are sure you will receive praise and accolades.

40. Appear spiritual and knowledgeable at all costs. Don’t let others see your imperfections and ignorance, even if it means you have to lie.

41. Love books and theology and ministry more than the Lord Jesus Christ.

42. Let your passion for the gospel be replaced by passion for complex doctrinal speculation.

43. Become angry, resentful and devastated when you receive something less than an A.

44. Let your excitement for ministry increase or decrease in direct proportion to the accolades or criticisms you receive from your professors.

45. Don’t really try to learn the languages - let Bible Works do all the work for you.

Original post can be found here.

My Prayer

Dear Father, stir within my soul a passion for my generation and a love that will overcome all my inertia and apathy. Help me see that without you, men and women will surely perish. May my life's goal be to make disciples of the people you have placed around me and further out into the nations as you lead. May my life be poured out as a drink offering, pleasing unto You. I am poor, and greatly in need. So empower me to do your will and grant me great success! Amen :)

Lost & Found

Today was Big Sweep Cupboard Saturday (Da Shao Chu) when we rearranged the furnitture to get the house ready for Ma's return. Moved the TV cabinet and my bed to the study room which will now be the nurse's room, shifted Ma's hospital bed into her old room and put the split the study desk between her room and the hall where my desktop is right now. Big time moving and cleaning sia.

One great surprise out of the whole operation, was that I found my iPod v2 haha. It fell behind my desk and somehow it never dawned on me to search there, or maybe I just wasn't thorough, as usual haha. Was hoping to find my handphone too, alas I think its beyond redemption somewhere out there.

Karang guni man just came by and I sold him an old handphone for 2 bucks haha, enough to eat Kuay Peng haha. Listening to Forever Young now, eh its just changed to We Believe. Its a very queer day haha.

Both of Ma's eyes can now open and she can raise her hands and all trying to pull out her tube haha, bad momma. Really excited for her to come home so we can really spend more time in a familiar evnvironment and it wont be so tiring or us all.

Boss just told me they granted me my sabbatical of one year and I'll probably leave end Jan when the replacement comes. So will see how things unfold in due course.

Good News

Just got an sms from Dad saying that the buyer of our Kim Tian Flat has agreed to drop the purchase, so we wont be having to move after all. Thank God for this! It's definitely another load off.

Working, or at least trying to, from home today. Not having to dress up and go in is really nice haha. Got a report which I need to churn out by tomorrow, so I should start cracking.

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year, the close of a challenging but wonderful year. Hoping that ACS will be a possibility again. Christmas is nice haha.

Rest

Today was a day of rest and I am thankful for it.

Wasn't the wisest of sorts as I played Battle Stations Midway till 0030. Think I just wanted some entertainment and mind numbing time. But alas when I woke this morning I was zonked and I had to drag myself to work and my day was horrid. Buddy treated me to lunch at Curry Favour, which was great, then I headed home to crash. Was knocked out for 2 hours straight and am now back at the hospital. Am in a pensive and prayerful state as I'm typing this. I've found physical rest, but I realised I've neglected entering into God's presence for quite awhile and its been really empty. But the hunger draws me to seek Him and to find true rest.

Moved: Ward 44 Bed 25

For those visiting, Mom's been moved to her own room at Ward 44 Bed 25, like how cool la haha? Blogging next to her right now, she looks alot better, been coughing up alot of phlegm cause of her trachy.

Cooked Small White Veg (xiao bai cai) this afternoon and will probably head home to steam a couple of fish. The whole routine really no joke man. I'm like super shack liao and I'm just hanging in there. Theres lots of work to be done at work but I'm mostly effective in the morning only and the afternoons are really spent takin care of the house stuff or with Mom.

Ok I should get down to doing my work.

Song of the Moment

Our Hope

My harddisk was acting up over the weekend so I decided to get a new one to back it up before all the data goes kaput. Bought a new 500GB Seagate Barracuda drive and since I couldnt find my old XP OS, I relunctantly had to downgrade to Vista haha. So been busy over the last couple of days installing and backing up my drives so now I have a combined storage space of a whopping three quarters of a terabyte (750GB). I'm wondering how I am ever gonna use up all that space. Vista seems to be working fine, its definitely more swanky and I could upgrade my sound card drivers, to maximise all that X-Fi goodness. Music never sounded so crisp and clear :)

Ok nuff geekspeak. Mom's the same as usual, maybe I should stop saying same and only post if theres a difference haha. But even though it may not be apparent, I believe God is healing her bit by bit within and I thank God for every single new day. This afternoon while testing my new soundcard drivers, I worshipped to At the Foot of the Cross and I realeased all the accumulated burdens and weariness in the presence of God and I weeped so freely at the comfort and embrace of the Holy Spirit. Truly He is Emmanuel. I've also taken a step to explore moving in the direction of full time ministry. There's no specific call, but this incident has stirred within me a hunger and passion to serve God at a different level, to pursue a life of eternal significance and to just lay everything temporal aside.

A beautiful verse that Dad shared with me last week really hit home, that one day all the suffering, wealth, joy will be eclipsed by the new life we will have in God. That day holds promise that everything will be made new and it is the believer's hope, irregardless of his current circumstance.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Rev 21: 3-4

Week 2

Mom's getting better day by day, though she's still unconscious. Her eyes do open from time to time and she seems to be responding somewhat. We're making preparations to bring her home and we're getting the equipment and a nurse for her. Dad and I are also planning the layout of the house to accommodate her and her needs so thats cool.

its been rather tiring, going to and fro from the hospital, juggling work and making all the arrangements at home. We're also hoping the buyer of our flat will revert with positive news that he wont proceed with the purchase and we can get to keep the house so that mom has a familiar place to recover.

Tommorrow is a brand new week, with its own challenges and joys. Am trusting God to lead me on and am taking it a day at a time. To God be the glory!

Down But Not Out

This has taken a toll on my body and I'm down with a slight cold. Been going into work in the mornings and heading off in the afternoons. Today I went home to cook lunch and nap and now am at the hospital. Mom's doing alright and more or less the same. Docs say they'll be performing more scans and test over the next few days.

I really feel like dropping everything and just sleep. When I go to work, my heart's just not in it, but I know I have an obligation. Sometimes I wonder where is my life heading, will this be the life 2-3 years down the road? Will I ever amount to anything? It's times like these that I find my faith tested and the only thing I can do is to worship and remember how great our God is and that He will deliver.

Many things are looking good too, the Farrer Road house transactions seems close to being settled. We're downgrading to a B1 ward to enjoy the subsidies since theres no differentiation currently in the high dependency ward. There's reassurance and care from many people and that's really worth giving thanks for.

I am seriously considering taking a year off completely to care for mum and to go to Bible School. Its another unknown, but I've been thinking through it and this incident has really made me reassess what's really important to me. With this decision, I'll have to forgo the sense of financial security, though I believe that is a mirage. The greatest fear is entering a full time calling and realising that maybe I just wasn't cut out for it. Its alot harder than a secular job, cause striving and effort just doesn't translate to success. But these are just fears and worries. If God has brought me safe thus far, then I'm sure He'll lead me all the way.

Work

Mom's condition has been the same since Saturday and sometimes its rather disheartening. But as I look at her, I learn to yield the time for her recovery to God and to see with eyes of faith that there is healing at work though it doesn't seem apparent in the physical.

I've rejected the offer to move to the bank and I've asked for a one year sabbatical from Shell. My boss has been understanding but that option will have to be approved by HR. To get a replacement is pretty tough right now and I'll probably be expected to carry on with my present job till the end of the year before i can effectively hand over. But I'm able to work virtually and unless there's a need for face to face interaction, I'll probably work at home or at the hospital. Boss has also offered me the option to work part time, with a 50% reduction in pay and jobscope to have the flexibility to support Ma through her rehabilitation and that'll give me some continuity in the job.

So I'm praying for wisdom to decide and to trust God for His direction and provision even though this trying season.

Moving

Mom got shifted out from ICU to the Neuro High Dependency Ward today as she's doing pretty well. Its a good sign and she's definitely improving with more eye and jaw movements, and we're hoping she'll be able to wake tomorrow. The standard of care at the new ward seems much lower and the nurses seem to be really busy about and not really focusing on the patients. Its a stark contrast to the knowledgable and friendly ICU nurses and it leaves me with a sense of foreboding, plus Dad is paying A1 ward rates. Oh well, I'm just going to have to observe and see how the situation progresses further before deciding on the next course of action.

Today I'm feeling somewhat fearful and weary and I'm gonna sped time seeking God for His strength and comfort.

Sustenance

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Today is area cleaning day, and we cleaned the house, did the laundry and cooked lunch. We talked briefly about the future and our work and Ma. There'll probably be alot of adjustements especially during the first 3 months with daily therapy. Most of the recovery takes place within the first year, so I might even consider taking an extended leave of absence or quit my work. Dad also raised the point that the longer Ma takes to wake, the slimmer her chances are for recovery. Guess thats a real fear on my side, but I'm just gonna take each phase at a time and now its just waiting for her to wake. Each new day without her waking does exact its toil without any good news to lift our spirits and respond to the enquiries.

But I've learnt to give thanks for the little things, like the weather, having Dad around, for Ma's little movements and all. Saying grace over breakfast really hit home and now I truly understand the concept of grace and how I've always taken grace somewhat for granted. Life has slowed and my schedule is predictable, but with Christ in the vessel I can smile at the storm :)

Third Day

Back from NUH. Its been a long day, but a good one with great liang cha HAHA ;) Was supposed to head for PnP but on the way there on the MRT I sensed a desire to head home and just be with Dad. Was worried that he may not be ready to walk into a dark empty home yet. So now I'm blogging, listening to Christmas Carols (which Ma adores) and waiting for De.

My heart is a wee bit heavy with a tinge of melancholy. I miss her so much, the touch, the smell, the nagging and everything about her. Read Psalms 23 and 2 Same 22 to her today and it was also strengthening to me as well. Dad's doing much better today and we're just there leaning and supporting each other.

I do hope Ma improves over the weekend, if not I dunno how we're gonna go back to work. That is one my biggest concerns on how we can adapt and return to a semblance or normalcy, though definitely things will be different. Well i'll cope like every other day this week - one day at a time. I'll leave Monday for God to worry about.

She's shown signs of improvement, with twiching eyelids, swallowing and moving her jaw. All could be involuntary reflexes or they may be in response to our voice. Shes def showing more movement than previously which is a good sign. Just learning to be patient and to walk with God through the process.

Lunch

Another first for today, made lunch for me and Dad. Went through the fridge last night to see what my Ma had bought and theres still 3 dayas worth of food. It was a really emotional experience cause Ma was such a good cook and I will miss er food so much. But I can whip up a thing or two still, so I decided that today's lunch will be Teochew Style Steamed Garoupa and Stir Fried Kailan with XO. The Kailan is done and its more or less like what we used to have hyak hyak and the Garoupa is steaming away. Its really gratifying to cook a real homecooked meal, not just those fancy ang mo dishes and to remember Ma's cooking, something we always took for granted. I remarked to Dad that Ma was so efficient and she could def do t in half the time we took bumbling around the kitchen haha, but hey shes got 30 years of experience and theres always a start.

Gonna head down after lunch and heard from a friend who went down this morning that Ma responds by tearing and thats really a good sign. Prayed over breakfast with Dad and we read Phil 4:6-7 and the verse really does take on a fresh and new meaning.

Progress!

It was an eventful and beautiful day. The witnessing of the outpouring of love and support from everyone was overwhelming. Wanna say a big thank you to everyone who's lent their support, Pron, Jean, Max & Jac, Joey, Joel, Hann, Wendy, Joy, Serene, CS & Es, Suhui, Collin, Cher, Kenneth and so many more. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Me and Dad have instituted a new practice which I wanna make sure it becomes a habit. Before we leave for the hospital and after we return at the end of the day, we hug and take turns to pray. In the morning we pray for the day and in the evening we give thanks and pray for rest. Its a time of communion, bonding and release as we weep and rejoice all in that short span of time.

Been able to talk abit about God to my relatives, sharing with them my source of joy, peace and strength to help them see that God is indeed real and that there's so much worth living for. I can see His hand in different ways, from the doc who said "your prayers worked" to the people who just came by and the acts of kindness done.

Read abit from Phillip Yancey's book - Prayer. Gleaned quite a fresh perspective on praying for healing. While God does heal supernaturally, most people tend to recover through the body's natural means of healing and that in itself is a miracle. So while I do believe and hope that God can heal her instantaneously and she can walk out, I know that chances are she might recover slowly and after a few years of therapy to regain her abilities if possible. So it is with this that I approach God, knowing that His will is not for my mom to remain afflicted, but understanding He has His ways of healing.

So now onto the title of my post. Though Ma is still unconscious, the signs have been improving steadily over the course of the day. This morning she was still unresponsive, but towards the evening, her tongue and mouth is able to move a little and Dad says her eyeballs can roll under her eyelids. We went to Audio House this afternoon and I bought her a really cool music player cause you can plug a thumbdrive into it and it plays the songs from there. Like how pro la! So I ripped some of her favourite CDs like Christmas carols and all and just loaded it up for her :) so sweet right ahaha.

So the day's ending on a high and I'm having faith in God that He will deliver our Family.

Praying By Faith

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

Met the doc this morning and got an update on her condition. Good news is that the bleeding has ceased and the clots are removed from the op and she is stable. Right now we are waiting for her to regain consciousness to determine the extent of the damage. The bleed has affected the left side of the brain which in 80% of the population is the dominant side, responsible for most of the body functions. This has great implications on my mom's recovery. Nevertheless, today I received an impression to pray by faith rather than by fear. To see beyond the physical and into the supernatural.

Will be heading down again soon to just check on her during visiting hours. Time seems to grind to a halt and we're living each day at a time. But today is the day that He has made, and I shall rejoice and be glad in it :)

What For?

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


At the close of the day I wonder why did all this happen? What does God have in mind right now? I do not have the answers to the questions, only His reassurance through the day. From deep within I hear his voice saying she'll pull through and that if I, her son am concerned, what more Him as her heavenly Father. So with that I'm assured that our Father has her interests at heart and He's gonna see her through.

Today I started the day with the notion that if God heals thats great but if my mom goes thats also ok. I guess at the end of today, its changed a little. I have yielded the outcome to Him but I shall press in earnestly to knock on heaven's doors for my mom's healing. To be persistent in prayer and to seek His will. I believe by faith that He can heal my mom and I shall not let it go without prayer. So I really thank God for everyone who has come by today and prayed and lent their support. It was really great and comforting.

I went into her room this the morning, all I could do was tell my Ma that I love her and am here. Then I just worshiped and prayed there and the presence of God just surrounded and filled me through and through that I just wept in joy and gladness, in the midst of the longing and pain. Another memorable instance was when we reached home and I just hugged my dad and I cried on his shoulder and we just comforted and assured each other. Father and son don't normally share or connect deep, but this has brought us so very close to the point where we acknowledge that we're gonna have to look out for each other from now on.

Irrespective of the outcome, there's one thing I hope so much besides my mom's recovery and that's to see my extended family saved. They're all very shaken by this and I hope that they see the brevity and frailty of life, which is like a vapor or a flower here today and gone tomorrow. I pray that they will come to see the beauty and love of God through this situation and I'm praying that the power of God can be shown through my mom's healing. May they come to know Christ and the real life that He has to offer. Do pray that I'll be able to speak to them and share the gospel to them with boldness, love and urgency.

So i'll be turning in now and we'll be going in early to try and catch the doc to find out more.

He Gives & Takes Away

When I woke this morning, Dad was already up and a wave of fear and uncertainty came over me, not knowing what the day might hold for us. Phil 4:6-7 which has been reassuring me throughout this period, came to mind and I just spent time lying in the presence of God, you know the time lying on the bed just before waking up.

Mom came out of surgery this morning at one and the doc removed the blood clot and stabilised her. The cause was a rupture of an abnormal blood vessel and she had lost a significant amount of blood. Hopefully she will not have another relapse and when she is stable, they will conduct laser surgery to tackle the vessel. So the next 24 hours are crucial and anything can happen.

I think the beauty of this season, is that while I do feel helpless, I know God is sovereign. I have never felt alone nor overwhelmed by this situation. Its reshaping and redefining what I hold dear and what I'm living for. Life's never really gonna be the same again. I feel a move towards simplicity, cutting out the unnecessary and living a life who's sole purpose is to know God and glorify Him. That means we will probably not shift house and I will not go after the fast paced bank job.

This kinda sums up how I feel and there is an immense sense of gratitude for the 49 years God has given my mom and the blessing she has been to us.

"The Lord gave me what I had,
and the Lord has taken it away.
Praise the name of the Lord!"

Thoughts of Death

I'm at Starbucks at KLIA, waiting to catch the 2145 flight back to Singapore. Sipping my Java Chip Frappe and listening to Jamie (Dashboard) and shaking my legs haha. But beneath the jet set exterior is a guy who's mom has just suffered a serious stroke and may never talk or function properly again, if she lives through tonight.

Macabre? Well thats death and face it, its the common destiny of all man. My mom's one of those Type AAAAAAA (you get it) kind of person. No amount of illness of fatigue can stop her from doing work, whether its at home or at the office. Even on MC shes working on something or cleaning the house. For that I salute her industriousness and shes has really held this family together. Shes uber talented and driven, having acheived much in life and I really respect and love her not just for what she has done, but really who she is to me - Mom.

As I was on the train from KL to the airport, I was wondering if I regretted not spending enough time with her or treasuring her more. And yeah, I wasnt the perfect, pliant and considerate son, with bits of terror and selfishness thrown in. So maybe it could have been different, and if given asecond chance, yeah I'd change some of who I was, but I know she knew I love her mucho. I wonder why it takes a catastrophe to effect reflection and change. Guess we are self centered and do take things for granted when alls well. So if she pulls through, its gonna exact alot in terms of care and I'm gonna have to be there for my Dad and its something I've resolved within to do. If she doesn't pull through, then I'll see you again soon Mom :)

Moral of the story, treasure the people around you while they're still here. Sometimes its just as good to not win every argument or just to go the extra mile cause you never know when they'll go. More importantly, death can strike anytime and I'm assured of the life after in Jesus and I'd like to take this opportunity to really emplore you to evaluate what you are living for and to reach out to Jesus as your savior.

I may seem composed and calm, but I do feel strongly for my mom. BUT there is a peace and a reassurance that surpasses all understanding and that is the beauty of knowing God. That even through this He is in control. THe only sadness I feel is that something has happened to my mom, but whatever the circumstance, I take joy in knowing my Father has it in the palm of His hands! Woot :)