A Brief Respite

I realised that I post a fair bit during or nearing telecons. Today is no exception as I've got half an hour to kill before I dial Houston and talk to the old fogeys there. Seriously they're all grandpas and grandmas and I really have no idea what they're talking about sometimes. Well today seems to have a set agenda, so I guess its gonna be productive (ie more arrows). 'Nuff said.

This week has been MAD. I've never felt more stressed these few days compared to any time in my entire working life (which is slightly above 4 months). Its like the stars and planets and DEADlines aligned exactly this week I tell you! Its not difficult work, just that I've got a number of things due in such a short span of time that it drained me and left me spent. As a result, this week I prayed alot.

Every stressed out moment, I just had to close my eyes and pray that God would help me through, to deliver that peice of work before moving on to the next one. Sometimes, I had to juggle a few tasks concurrently. But through it all, God has delivered me whoo hoo. He gave me the strength to continue with my sanity in check.

My buddy kept asking me whether I was ok today, she said that my eyes seemed to get smaller and smaller haha. I even had to buy eye drops today (the ones that Jon uses, which I keep making fun at him for), cause my eyes were just so dry.

Well the work adn the day's not over,but this post and my coffee break has provided a brief respite. Its time to get back in the hole and soldier on. Semper Fi!

The Weekend Has Landed

I'm a quarter through my precious weekend and this week has been one heck of a ride. Its left me tired and spent, yet I've learnt lots this week and I've grown in my walk.

Lets start on Friday, which was Mom's birthday. It was kind of a washout. When I passed her her present, a chinese Christian CD, she exclaimed "Boring". I suggested dinner at the Thai restaurant near my office and she liked the food but complained that it was "cheap". You are most welcome mom! That really capped my lousy week. So I got home and since there wasn't anyone to hang with, I just kicked back and did a bit of reading, but mostly wallowed in my misery. When I reached the nadir of the night, I couldn't take it and I just had to confront God with my mom's lack of appreciation and how crappy it made me feel, plus this week didn't go too well, ie You didn't do a very good job God!

Then the reply came (it always leaves you stunned and speechless) that God reminded me of the times I took His grace for granted everytime I disobeyed, yet His love for me was unchanging. With that, what more could I protest, but ask Him to help me extend love and grace, to not give up, to learn what my mom likes and meet her needs. Someone has to break the cycle.

God also reminded me about our relationship. He gave me a metaphor of a customer visiting a bank teller. That most times our relationship with God is like that, that we approach Him to make transactions and move on and we wonder why we don't hear from Him at times and there isn't any depth. So this challenged me to relook my walk. The 15 min QT in the morning model just didnt cut it for a dynamic and powerful relationship. I neeeded to "abide in Him" and that would take conscious effort to seek and be in Him the entire day.

So I'm reminded that we have the privilege of knowing our God, that He is immensely interested in our lives and invites us to "sup with Him". For those who believe, lets not let a day go by without knowing God better.

For those who don't know my God, He is a God who is waiting for you. We've all messed up in our lives and sin really means missing the mark that God has set. As a result, we were meant to pay the penalty for our sinfulness, yet God decided on His own to take it upon Himself to take our punishment through Jesus dying on the cross. His innocence paid the price for our guilt. Because of this, you have the chance to come and know God. There's no promise of a perfect life on this earth, but a life where u can look and smile at life's woes, knowing that God has a plan and He is totally in control. So the gift is free but it cost much, and if you want to say "Yes" to God, drop me a line or comment and I'll talk more with you.

Ambling On

These few days have been tough and disorienting. Suddenly work has picked up and my body hasn't been able to adjust to the increased stress levels and ive been having problems sleeping and leaves me zonked the whole day. It has affected my spiritual life and im feeling awfully disoriented.

My faith is tested, not so much in my beleif in god, but in my belief that He can make a difference in my circumstances and that He is still unchanging and not distant despite the tumult that im facing. Im learning to trust Him by faith and to cry out for strength and sustenance. Its a walk of faith and its tough but I know He'll see me through.

Worship during RL meeting was good and it ministered and there was real fellowship tonight. I'm in a telecon now, and its really really dry zzz. Pressing on, one day at a time. :)

Morning at Lab

Somehow was rather tired last night after dinner and I realised I was supposed to teach cell this morning, since its the first Sunday haha. Decide to turn in early and wake up to prep.

Got up at an unearthly 0545, packed a few dollars and my Gideon NT Bible and pushed my bike out the door. It was a chilly morning and the roads were empty. Made my way to the ol' Hawker Center at Lab and picked up nasi lemak ikan and teh ping. Headed on to Tanjung Belayer Plaza (The wooden deck) and had a good breakfast with God while the day broke. Spent time worshiping and pulled out my Gideon to read Luke 8 and 9 for today's lesson. It was a really refreshing morning, a good way to begin the Sabbath.

I'm still struggling on street E later, haven't really decided haha, its never been high on my list. But I might just have to suck it up. I'll get back to lesson prep now.

Stop

They say it takes 3 days for a recurring action to become habit. Well today's the third day I've been back on COD ahahaha. I thought just play abit since im bored, but now im beginning to feel its lure, the desire to get XP and level to get that ACOG for my G36 argh. Bit by bit its sucking me in again. Now I need to pull away. Theres too much to do after work than to allow my life to get absorbed into mindless gaming again.

Works been great thus far, nuthing like a few spanners in the works to break the monotony of closing. Getting the hang of most of my jobscope, but theres still stuff to learn. Its amazing what they trust a fresh grad with ahaha.

Tmr's Friday and 1st week of April's gone by. Time really flies.