Ultimate Fortunecookie Quote

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That's why its called the present."

HAHAHA.

Well heard it for the first time in Kung Fu Panda. Couldn't help cringing and laughing. Its good man, real good.

Day's starting well. Im sleepy and hungry tho.

Random

Been cycling over the last couple of days to train for the upcoming Osim Triathalon. It's leaving my body sore and fatigued haha. Been out of action for the last month due to the gargantuan commitment from my yearbook, which is at long last ready for print. Commencement is in a few weeks, not really excited. Got to deliver the yearbooks then.

Work's been mundane again and its a lull before July which promises to be one action packed month culminating in Kinabalu. Need to find purpose and meaning in the ordinary.

Working from home today. Weather is nice, moods rather lethargic, mind's even worse haha. Bleah.

Making That Dash Count

Lionel Koh
Nov 1983 - ?

Been reading a great book - When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box(An awfully long title). One thing that left an impression on me was on making the dash count.

We all have no choice over when we came in, how we were born or what we were endowned with, and its represented by the birthday on the left. So we live our lives, get an education, a job, get married for some and one day the question mark gets filled in and we leave this life. We have no control over both dates, but we do have control over how we live that small little dash, and it begs the question, what I am living for?

I've realised since coming back from Kuantan that its all about God and the souls of men. Its something I've benn taught and something my mind always knew, but only just has my mind, heart and spirit been reconciled. Its like an epiphany, an awakening. Its life changing.

I guess I used to worry about what I did, to stay in Finance or move out, to remain in Shell or start my own business, or even to go into ministry. Now I know it all doesn't really matter. My occupation, goal and calling is to save as many people as I can . That is my full time ministry. Everyting else is just a means to fulfil this end. I now understadn my God is in control. He has everything planned and in the palm of His hands. Nothing He has willed can be twarthed and as long as I'm with Him, theres nothing to worry about. Its refreshing and liberating, to no longer be shackled down by the concerns of life, knowing as I plan and work, that He is in control, not me. So no matter what the circumstances, I can smile at the storms or dance in the sun.

Now the task at hand is how to make the time represented by the dash count. Its gonna affect the decisions I make on how I spend my time, money and strength. Everything needs to be evaluated in light of its eternal significance. Gone will be the desire for more stuff, keeping up with the Joneses and meaningless hedonism because they don't matter and cause I don't know just how long more I have before my Master calls me for an account.

So the challenge, both for myself and you reader, is to live life to make that small dash count.

Roadtrip

Its so close, I can feel it. The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. Work has been dull, food tasteless, sleep unstatisfying. My entire being is geared up for tomorrow's trip up North. Its been awhile since I travelled. I need a break, a disruption to the normal routine, a time away from work. A few things I hope to get from this, time off to seek God at the beach and close to nature. I wanna see a different side of Malaysia. Need to feed the unquenchable need for adventure and exploration.

The posse include Joel, Wendy, Es, Jean, Jon and me and we're gonna be starting out from Malacca, cutting through the interior via Segamat and up northeast to Kuantan. Probably camp at Cherating and maybe spend a night at Sungei Lembing. Gonna be full of the sun, sand and sea and tons fo good ol Malaysian food. Can't wait.

Of course there are risks associated with a trip like this. Many things threatened to ground the trip long before it ever came to fruition, first with parents, then with the car. Was told on Monday that the car I originally booked, an Estima had to be sent in for servicing as the a/c was spoilt. They offered a Wish instead but I knew it would be a cramped and joyless ride. So i scrambled to find a replacemnt. I scoured forums and directories and to my surprise found some interesting information on the company I was renting the car from. Apparently they're involved in some scam where they lease the cars from owners who have no means of servicing their monthly instalments and then rent it out. Problem with this, is that its illegal according to LTA rules. Well the hirer wouldn't be implicated in any bust, but if an accident were to occur, then insurance wouldn't cover the passengers as the car was deemed to be rented illegally. SO it was a good revelation and all the more spurred me on to find a more reputable dealer. So i finally settled on a Toyota Picnic, nto as big but adequate for our needs. Got it at a pretty good deal of $120 per day for NTUC members, with no additional cost for driving up. Good stuff in all.

These few days at work have been a bore and I'm merely waiting for 12 noon tmr to bolt out and away. Woooo hooo.

Emo Bus Ride

Long bus rides tend to be emo ones, tonight's was no exception, but of a different kind.

Celebrated Jeraldine's birthday with the RLs at Bukit Panjang Plaza's Jacks Place. Somehow Jacks Place doesn't really serve good steaks, but it does serve up a hearty portion of nostalgia. From the way the steaks are served on a tacky hotplate and the way the still spoon out sour cream, bacon bits and spring onions only after ou get your steak reminds me of my growing up years when going to Jacks Place with the folks was such a treat. Pity their Lobster Bisque soup has dropped in standard, cause I used to really look forward to ordering it with Mom.

We adjourned to Starbucks after dinner and sat around for awhile. It started drizzling and everyone decided to head home. But it was such a nice night, sitting outdoors in the cool of the night with an overly sweetened Caramel Mach, I just didn't want to go home that early despite the promise of a free cab ride. So I stayed back alone and did some reading.

There was a portion in the article I read that struck me, and it had a quote that went something along the lines that,when asked the question of what their life would be like in forty years, most graduates would respond with what they'll have, like being rich, powerful etc, and only a few would respond on the person they'd like to be then. The article then asserts that the few that responded this way, were the ones who know where they're heading.

Where am I heading? What kinda man would I like to become? How can I best position myself to have the most impact? What is God's specific calling for my life? These questions have been on my mind and heart for awhile. Somehow, I don't get a definitive answer, but bit by bit and as the parts are revealed, God speaks to me. So I'm just plodding along for now, doing the best I can, knowing I'm in His hands.

I've been also rather distant the last few days, owing to the stress and weariness. The long bus ride back was a good time to just rest, to seek God and to reflect on these things. It was a good time to take stock of all that has happened and a time for healing. It was a different sort of emo bus ride, the kind that I'd look forward to taking again when the need arises.

Mid Week

Work has been pretty busy this week as its budgeting season. Essentially its getting an idea of how much we're going to spend next year. So i've got to go around, ask the folks to submit on time(half did), answer queries and then fill up a long long template. And since i'm in charge of this portion, I have the luxury of compiling the team's work and reviewing it a final time.

I started the week feeling fearful and insecure. I wasn't sure how i'd be able to cope with the workload and whether I would be able to deliver. Thus it drove me back to the source. I've been going in a wee bit later, so that means I don't get a lift from Dad, thus its either bus or cab to work. But it really does give me more time to rest and seek God in the morning. I've grown alot closer to God this week and hearing His voice is a real treat. I'm also filled with joy thats unexplainable and while I may be physically tired and mentally drained, there is a strength and drive that keeps me going. Thus the ability to overcome this week really comes from my Father, apart from whom, I can do nothing.

Joy

Came across this sculpture titled "Joy" at Botanic. It was around dusk and after the rain. Very surreal.