Gratitude

I know ive been whining about how the exams are such a burden and all and how tired i am about all this. I brought it before God this morning and He reminded me of my privilege to study. I was reminded that i am studying because God allowed me to, in order that i might fulfill His plan through my life. I am not studying for grades or a job, i am doing all this for so much more. It was then that i managed to see the bigger picture and it did make sense. Makes you feel kinda silly when you missed the mark haha. I thank God for bringing me thus far and i know I didnt give my best this term. Its a lesson that i'll take to heart and to do everything for His glory.

My Last Week 14

Its the end of Week 14 of school and its the last of it. Come Monday, the onslaught of the exams will reveal the depth and breadth of my knowledge, or more likely the lack of it. Somehow the only memorable thing i learnt this week is that Habakkuk means vegetable haha.

On Habakkuk, was really surprised after the seminar on Thursday when Hann brought out a gingerbread man with a candle stuck in its nose and celebrated my birthday (22 Nov haha). It was awesome cause all ive been doing each day is studying(shaddup! i try). Thanks Jeanie for the gingerbreadman, still remember the super amusing scene in Shrek 3 haha. Well of course i proceeded to eat the poor fellow from limb to limb, really gratifying. Got a very nice card too. oh received a card from CS and E last week too. So thanks to you all who made it memorable. Much appreciated.

Bought 3 Chet Baker albums yesterday, really getting into the Christmas mood with the laidback melancholic and mellow jazz tunes. Been awhile since i bought jazz CDs. Wanna catch The Kingdom too, by the same guy who wrote Lions for Lambs. Want to go fishing/crabbing and start taking photos again. Oh when will life begin?

Back to work now...

2 Weeks

Thats the time i have left till i finish my formal education. This week will be my study break and the following week will be the exams. Its gonna be a last burst to the finish line and Ive scarce much energy and drive left. I feel like walking out and calling it quits, guess "sian" adequately sums up how i feel. However, i know that it really isn't gonna be for myself that im gonna be working the next couple of weeks, rather im trying to do it for His glory.

Planning my timeline seems to be an exercise in futility haha cause i dun think i could possibly cover everything and that irritates and demoralises me mucho. Guess ill just have to do what i can and let go of what i cant.

So as i begin these 2 last weeks, i covet your prayers that ill be able to do my best and be able to encounter God through this period. Thanks.

Rivers and Deserts

I've been blessed by encouragement in response to the previous posts and im immensely thankful. I guess posting acts as a release and also a way to chronicle this journey, so that in recollection, I can see God's providence and plan unfold, that I may remember my Creator in the days of my youth haha. Things have indeed been better and i guess this sorta thing, one just has to ride it out and the clouds soon break.

Bought a new old CD, Sonicflood - The Early Years. Well its a re-release of their 1996 songs, almost 11 years man! This was the stuff i used to listen and worship to in secondary school and it brings back tons of memories. But above and all this, this song reminds me of the deserts and rivers ive experienced through my walk and all the people that have played a role in my life, and I do hope that I might be that to someone in whatever period and season. Its been great thus far and I pray i'll continue to run with purpose and passion, to receive the crown at the end.


I Have Come to Worship You
Sonicflood

Many mighty rivers have I crossed
Many barren deserts have I seen
And still my heart beats strong
For You, oh Lord
For You have been my shelter
I all of my need

I have come to worship You
Oh, and I have come to worship You

A willing soul and a thankful heart
To find a holy passion just for You
And turn away from the things
That break Your heart
And live my life of sacrifice
Just for You

For only You are worthy
Only You are worthy
Only You are worthy
Of the praise this heart brings

Faith

Of late my faith has been tested with bouts of loneliness and melancholy. Its still a pretty foreign feeling and I cant say im really adept at dealing with it. Its mighty unsettling.

In the course of the testing of my faith i've realised that there are 2 aspects to faith. This isnt based on scripture per se, just my personal rationalising. The first being the conviction of one's belief and the second the nature of the object/person of belief. Im struggling with the latter. Let me explain.

Throughout my Christian walk, ive always been sure of my belief in God and I considered my faith pretty unmovable or strong. In most aspects i think it holds true. However, when reconciled with my recent state of despair, I realised a deficiency of sorts. If it wasnt the strength of my belief then what was the root of my weakness? It dawned on me in service that I've made God too small in my eyes. Sure my belief in Him was strong, but what would that matter if I didnt believe He could do anything and everything.

I've never seen an actual demonstration of God's power, and my knowledge is only secondary. As such, in my mind I never truly believe or realised my God is the God of possibilities and this has limited many aspects of my walk. It affects my worship, prayer and daily walk. I guess I believe fervently and dogmatically in a God who says , or others say is powerful. I kinda never really internalised this concept of an omnipotent Jehovah.

I think it'll take time to grow through this, and its a new challenge to my walk. I can only ask God to open my eyes and my mind and to read the Word for a fresh perspective. Its something I believe will unlock something deep within, when Im able to say with complete conviction that my god is powerful and He can do anything. may the Lord guide my in my journey to know Him more and in yours too.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see ... And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Pain

Its been awhile since ive felt this way. Its raw and deep. I wish it would go away but i guess i need to grow through the pain. It reminds me of my humanity and frailty.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Its times like these i wish i could fast forward things, to a better time, a better place but I want to see the present with a sense of purpose and to be able to perceive its beauty.

Man I haven't posted like this since May. Haha

The Perfect Boiled Egg

In preparation for our movie picnic, i decided to have some boiled eggs to complement the balsamic vinegar mushrooms i made. Now if you're gonna do something, you might as well do it great, not just good.

So i googled out "the perfect boiled egg" and came across an incredible recipe just to make a boiled egg which is oft taken for granted. So heres the recipe:

1. place eggs in pot with the water level 1 inch above the eggs and bring to boil
2. just as it begins to boil, turn off fire and leave for 17 mins
3. remove eggs and place in ice cold water for 2 mins
4. bring original pot to boil again
5. remove eggs from ice water and place in boiling water for 10 secs
6. remove from boiling water and place in ice water for 30 mins

That is the standard to achieve the perfect boiled egg.

I know what you are thinking. Was it worth it and why isnt he studying?? I shall answer the first. It was worth the hour i spent including deshelling the eggs. The eggs were indeed perfect. No grey colouration and the yolks were bright succulent yellow and they were soft and moist, not the dried out pale yellow yolks of mass produced eggs.

So go ahead, next time you have a spare saturday afternoon and attempt the Perfect Boiled Egg Challenge.

Rainy Mondays

Woke up to a cool rainy Monday morning. Did my QT, read the papers and im gonna drink my coffee. "October Skies" is playing in the background and its proving to be a good start to the day. I think this laidback take it easy part of school life is something im gonna miss when i start work. Regimentation and me mix as well as oil and water. But i'll leave that gripe for another time.

Sent me bro off last night. Love going to the airport, but it always stirs the travel bug within me. So many places not seen and traversed. It was a good time of catching up with Ang-eh and Clarence. Till Dec, adios bro and may the Lord watch over you and keep you. May His face shine on you and give you peace.

Loch Lomond

Came across this song recently. Reminds me of my time at Loch Lomond in Scotland when the guide played it on the bus when touring the loch. One of the interpretations of this old song is:

"the song is sung by the lover of a captured rebel set to be to be executed in London following a show trial. The heads of the executed rebels were then set upon pikes and exhibited in all of the towns between London and Glasgow in a procession along the "high road" (the most important road), while the relatives of the rebels walked back along the "low road" (the ordinary road traveled by peasants and commoners)."

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

Chorus:
O you’ll tak’ the high road and I’ll tak’ the low road
And I’ll be in Scotland afore yeFor me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

‘Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen
On the steep, steep sides o’ Ben Lomond
Where deep in purple hue, the hieland hills we view
And the moon comin’ out in the gloamin’.

Chorus

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping
But the broken heart, it kens nae second spring again
Tho’ the waeful may cease frae their greeting.

heres a poor quality stream of an awesome rendition of this song by Runrig.

Char Bee Hoon

Spent a good part of the day at Mix and Mash, Cook and Dash. My team consisted of Charlie, Andrea, Natalie and Sharon and we were tasked to make Char Bee Hoon. So we sliced and diced, cut and chopped all the ingredients and fried up a big tray of Bee Hoon. Very proud of the dish haha. It was a great evening just eating and milling around. Got to know the NS cell guys better - David, Joseph, Chris. Might join em to cycle one of these days.

Went to Haato at Ridgewood to meet up with Jon and gang to end the evening. Happy Birthday bro! Look forward to buying you dinner hahaha. Best part, i took the MRT home man, never cab lor!

Rubbish Quizes

Which Type of Music Should You Listen To?
	You should listen to Alternative Rock. You never like to do what everyone else does. If your way is better, who cares if it's popular? In fact, your uniqueness is fast garnering you some increasingly passionate fans!
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Heroes Character Are You?
	You are Sylar. You are very aggressive. You like to pick fights and play mind games. You've got it coming.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

The Good Shepherd

“I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me were thieves and robbers. But the true sheep did not listen to them. Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved. They will come and go freely and will find good pastures. The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will abandon the sheep because they don’t belong to him and he isn’t their shepherd. And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. The hired hand runs away because he’s working only for the money and doesn’t really care about the sheep.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep. I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd.

“The Father loves me because I sacrifice my life so I may take it back again. No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.”

Poem for a Sleepless Night

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.
by Robert Herrick


GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer ;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.

Highlights

So much stuff has been happening that I don't think i can blog em before i forget em so here are some highlights (in some sorta chronological order):

1. Serene's Bdae Cookout & Sembawang

Decided to try roasting lamb on a bed of vegetables this time and it turned out great. Got the lamb from Sunset, was pretty cheap but wished it had abit more flavour tho. We had a great time with dinner and desert and it was super fun. Went to Sembawang Park and tried to burn the jetty down albeit unsuccesfully. Great weekend it was.

2. Supreme Commander No-More
Kenna whacked left-right-centre at Risk during Uni Retreat. My crime was that i was just plain good. I managed to bring the entire North America under my control and everyone just panicked and reacted in a most irrational way. Oh well at least i was the President of the US of A for awhile.

3. Bro Chin Seng & Sis Ervina's Farewell & Sukiyaki

Had great fun over 2 Thursday eating and making merry with them. Will miss the makan sessions and the great fellowship and hospitality. Guys if you're reading this, Thanks!!! for including me and the Vesak Day dinner was a bright light in a patch of darkness (my my the cliches have descended to new depths). Hope you guys like the Polaroid album, super retro right?

You guys have been great blessing and honestly just seeing you guys around has been one of the reasons that have inspired me to labour on and not throw in the towel. You guys model marriage and its something i'll want to emulate. Finally your hospitality is amazing and i guess when i have a house i'll put my lamb rack skills to good use hahaha. Thanks guys!

4. The AFA Quiz
Some of you who see me often enough would have noticed im perpetually "chained" to my Advanced Financial Accounting book. Its really a yoke man i tell you, a heavy one at that. Was sick over the weekend and till tuesday so didnt managed to study much for the quiz. Hope i can pass it man. Well after i got it over and done with i felt so relieved that i kinda enjoyed getting back to my books again. Think i wont be able to get my 3.60 GPA liao after such a crap showing, so i've decided to cruise. Not slack mind you. Cruising is different. Its about enjoying the process and not getting too worked up over over achieving. If i have 9 weeks left, might as well enjoy it and not look back in regret.

My Bike Route

My Job

Went down to Shell today to sign a letter of intent, which is them basically saying they want to hire me, prior to officially signing the contract. Found out that i'll be a financial analyst in Shell Chemicals and my workplace will be in Shell House. Thats jolly good news! For months i've been speculating that they'll probably send me to Jurong or Bukom cause thats where the plants are. The great thing about Shell House is that its at River Valley, like near Liang Court and its like 5 mins from my place by cab (cost me $3.30 toady). Super shiok man, now i don't need to buy a car anymore. Plus i wont get like my lifespan reduced drastically cause the islands are terribly polluted. So this is in all great news and Thank God for all this.

An Indulgence

Reflecting on my spending habits, ive realised that i don't have the usual indulgences; that iPods, clothes and fast cars aren't really my thing. But watches, ahh thats a different story altogether. Watches are interesting contraptions and they both captivate and fascinate. A good watch (read pricey) has a story to tell and is painstakingly crafted with precision and artistic elegance.

This watch, the Skagen 342XLTMB alas is a piece of crap mechanically. But it does look good. So it should suffice for now at my current station in life haha.

4 Blind Mice

Found this in the mail today. Jon dug it out of his archives and sent it over. Thanks man. This is the pic of the 4 Blind Mice haha after leaders retreat in '04.

Brings back memories man that retreat. Notable ones include defeating 7 people at Risk, including Joey who put up a stoic defense but was no match for me, the Supreme Commander of the World! Haha. The other one was when we went for this long walk and i know i didnt lead anyone astray or on a longer route but Jeanie has been harping me on it ever since. Bah! Well YA retreat is next week, think its at the same place or at least nearby. We'll just have to see waht'll transpire then.

Good memories.

ROTBHS

We've come a long way since prata in Febuary and talking over dinner was a joy. Well dinner at "cheap" french was great and we took a nice walk through Botanic. It was a good night in all. Happy Birthday Serene and may your dreams be merry and bright and may all your Christmas-es be white. Hur Hur.

A busy term

I foresee that this will be a busy and arduous term. I have 3 accounting and a political science mod to clear. Its only the 3rd week and i feel like im drowning. Spent the whole of yesterday reading one chapter but still catch no ball. I think i'll have to force myself to sit down and really practice. Its gonna take effort. Alot alot of effort.

My GPA is 3.57. In order to graduate with a 3.60 which gives me a Magna Cum Laude, which is the second highest honours ill need to get something like 2As and 2A-s at least. Considering my not too easy mods, this might remain a pipe dream. Then again I could just heck it and slack off. Why bother?

All these darn grades and GPA. At the end it'll probably like the guy who wrote Ecclesiastes and shouts "Meaningless!" haha.