Down But Not Out

This has taken a toll on my body and I'm down with a slight cold. Been going into work in the mornings and heading off in the afternoons. Today I went home to cook lunch and nap and now am at the hospital. Mom's doing alright and more or less the same. Docs say they'll be performing more scans and test over the next few days.

I really feel like dropping everything and just sleep. When I go to work, my heart's just not in it, but I know I have an obligation. Sometimes I wonder where is my life heading, will this be the life 2-3 years down the road? Will I ever amount to anything? It's times like these that I find my faith tested and the only thing I can do is to worship and remember how great our God is and that He will deliver.

Many things are looking good too, the Farrer Road house transactions seems close to being settled. We're downgrading to a B1 ward to enjoy the subsidies since theres no differentiation currently in the high dependency ward. There's reassurance and care from many people and that's really worth giving thanks for.

I am seriously considering taking a year off completely to care for mum and to go to Bible School. Its another unknown, but I've been thinking through it and this incident has really made me reassess what's really important to me. With this decision, I'll have to forgo the sense of financial security, though I believe that is a mirage. The greatest fear is entering a full time calling and realising that maybe I just wasn't cut out for it. Its alot harder than a secular job, cause striving and effort just doesn't translate to success. But these are just fears and worries. If God has brought me safe thus far, then I'm sure He'll lead me all the way.