Considerations

In the chaos, in confusion
I know you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do your will
When you call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

Went for an interview this week for a business development role in a bank. I'm torn between staying and leaving.

Currently my team is rather unstable and if I leave, I'm not sure if my boss can cope. There's the thing about getting a replacement, cause currently there isn't anyone available to fill the role. While no one is indispensable, I think my departure may create a strain on the team.

On the flip side, I've been really bored in this current role. It is really mind numbing and I dun feel a drive and its seems like I'm going through the motions. Theres only so much of this I can take. My work feels like a huge burden.

I wonder if its just my attitude or my lack of perseverance. Am I justified in feeling bored or am I just full of complaints? I'm not sure if God has a specific direction in all this, and seeking for an answer has proven futile. To stay or not to stay? To pursue the promise of a job that offers drive and excitement or to be content and press on? These questions ring constantly in my head and there isn't a clear answer really.

But one thing I know, and its that I will choose to act contrary to the world. The world says me first and screw the rest. But I know the principle is more important than the outcome and the Word of God holds the key.

"Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Phil 2:4

And so I have decided that if the offer does come, I shall bring it before my boss and to discuss and determine how to balance my interest with hers and the team's. If the team's interest is severely compromised, then I shall forfeit this job and trust in God that the time isn't now. If my boss does give me her blessings, then I shall be able to move with joy and freedom.

So till that day, I know I will be wrestling with this decision and i've been tempted to revert to what seems natural. Its truly a learning and character shaping experience, more so when God seems distant during this period. He seems unusually quiet, but I woke this morning with a reassurance that He is indeed in control and with me.

Thus I yield this decision and its considerations. Gloria in Excelsis Deo!