As January Ends

A parting shot to Jan 08 which has been extremely eventful indeed. This year has heralded new opportunities in both ministry and my career and things have been pretty rosy to date.

I wondered through '07 why my ministry was ineffective and my influence remained small. Why I had roles with little significance and that God was definitely not leveraging on my gifts and strengths haha. But I went along anyway, without a clue.

This year i had an epiphany. Well not so dua zhong (big deal) la, just a realisation of the reason behind it all. I realised that 2007 was a year of preparation, in moulding and shaping my character. God is indeed wise. Without the bedrock of character, our gifts and successes in ministry can so easily cause us to fall flat.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

God enabled me to love and to care for the people around me. I couldn't do it on my own and he deposited within me a compassion and a care for others, especially for those who are outside of a relationship with Jesus Christ. Once I only cared about myself. When I was in ministry, it was more about using my strengths and exercising my gifts than about loving people. Its redefined my life, attitudes and the way i relate to others.

As I began to obey and be faithful with the little, God opened many opportunities this year for service. It was no longer about programs and doing stuff, but to serve others in love and to reach the lost. Furthermore, the things lined up are incredibly daunting and I know that apart from Christ that I wont be able to succeed. It has caused my faith to rise to a new level. Its been a really long time since I lived on the cutting edge, depending on God to see me through each step of the way and its humbling and exciting.

Ive also learnt about the call to discipleship that everyone of us is called to be a disciple and to disciple others. It is the essence of our being as we model ourselves after our Lord and obey Him in everything. It is a call to leave behind a saved by the Sinners Prayer lifestyle and to come into active fellowship and obedience to God, living a life of abundance that God promised.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"

This is a verse that has impacted my life and priorities. Every time i read it I "hear" God calling out to me afresh to follow Him. Each time I am tempted, it calls out to me to take a stand or deny my Lord. It makes living a life of discipleship, real and dynamic. It humbles me to know that I cannot do anything apart from Him. Everyday is a choice to either live for myself or God and it take a conscious effort to do the latter.

So these are some of the few things God has been doing in my life. If you are reading and you do not know Jesus, I hope this gives you a glimpse into the relationship that I have with God. Through this, life has purpose and meaning and salvation for our sins. i hope you would consider exploring about who Jesus is and to heed His call to turn from our sinful ways and follow Him.

My First Biz Trip

Im fresh outta school and a couple of weeks into the new job and me boss has decided to send me over to KL and this will be my first business trip. Well its exciting, tho its ONLY KL haha, but it does has a sense of importance to it haha. But besides that I'm thankful for whatever opportunities that come my way and the chance to sample new experiences. The purpose of this trip is to build rapport with the KL folks whom i'll have to work closely with and to gain a firsthand understanding of their operations. So ill be away this Thursday and Friday.

My job doesnt involve much travelling and only the senior peeps really get to go to the nice places like UK and US, so better treasure these opportunities haha woot.

The Long Ride

Went riding yesterday with Shawn and David after cell. Started off at Gombak MRT with Shawn and we headed to Dairy Farm to link up with David. had to crap so we headed to KAP macs which was full of Hwa Chong kids. From there it was the straight road down Bukit Timah till we reached Beach Road and it was on to Nicoll Highway. We took a turn and then went to the indoor stadium crossing the bridge over into Tanjong Rhu. Shawn found the bridge pretty romantic and said commented he'd like to bring his girlfriend there someday haha.

From here it was on to Fort Road and East Coast Park. ECP was one long stretch and at this point our arses and backs were getting really sore. We were all feeling peckish and decided to break for food at the ECP hawker centre. The place had really good old school satay, like the Satay club kind which was a surprising find. Indian Rojak was decnet but the sauce was a letdown. With the food churning, our bodies aching, we set off into the cold morning air and the inertia was really great. Again more long straight stretches up the reaminder of ECP till we hit Changi Coastal Road.

For those who've been to Tekong, Changi Coastal Road is that super long unending road behind the airport that you take to get to the SAF Ferry Terminal from ECP Expressway. It was super long! Cycled till our thighs were chockful of lactic acid and our arses wanted to open flower. Took a short break at the end of the road.

After rounding the bend off the Coastal Road, we cycled on for about another 15 mis and reached Changi Village. Saw a couple of Ah Quas too, surprising they still ply their trade there. Ta powed Nasi Lemak and Teh to Changi Beach Park for supper round 2. Kept lamenting the ride back over food and we didnt know how we were gona ake it back except thru sheer grit and determination.

Pushed off at 3am and headed up Loyang, Bumbled our way through Tampines and found ourselves on Bedok Reservoir Road. Had to resort to looking at bus guides at the bus stops to figure our route cause the place was totally foreign. In the end we decided to follow the 66 bus route after losing 67's. Then we found our way onto Still Road which was in Eunos. That was familiar territory and from there it was down Aljunied, Geylang, Kallang till we reach Victoria Street. We then parted company at Bugis Junction and i rode straight home though Hill Street and Chinatown.

Got an sms from David this morning, that Shawn's bike got a flat after we parted and he had to take a cab home. Guess everyone was shacked out by the time we got back. I got home arounf 0430, and KOed till 1230. Stil feeling tired now man, maybe ill go back to sleep. All in all it was a great ride and we finally managed to do it. Great ride it was.

No Mean Feat

Today I climbed Mount Faber on a whim. It was no mean feat, breathing in the cold air and pedalling furiously, fighting my way up inch by inch. It was truly rewarding once I reached the summit haha. The highlight of the week.

Works been good so far. Observing how things are done so that i can replicate it next month. Everything is pretty passive, so im trying to suck it in and carry on. Im flirting with the idea of hopping over to business but i want to ensure i maintain a right attitude wrt the current job.

An Ole Saying

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than to have never loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

An old saying by Tennyson and subject to much debate over the years. I guess I kinda subscribe to it, unless you're on a consistent losing streak, then you should kinda take a break from love and take a good hard look at yourself. So dear reader, whats your take on this?

Well heres to love, though not for now.

Second Day

Im working as a financial analyst in Shell Chemicals. But i think the name is a misnomer as there really isnt much analysis involved at my level haha. I fele like a automaton.

Well today marks my 2nd day on the job and it has been great thus far. Let me start by describing my workspace. its a nice big cubicle with ample storage space (think contrast big 4 haha). Everyone gets a sweet Herman Miller Aeron chair and it really makes the job comfy haha. For my computer i got a crummy ol HP leightweight laptop. The cool thing about it is that i can dock it and use a monitor, mouse and keyboard config in the office, and undock the laptop to bring it home after work. Its part of their mobile office plan and also business continuity plan which requires you to work from home in the event of a disruption at office. I get to claim for broadband too haha. Beats the Big 4 anytime man!

The job is pretty routine and im trying hard to be positive about it. I don't really like repetitive stuff. I like projects haha. maybe ill keep that in mind for my next posting. For the uninitiated, i'm a management accountant and i prepare figures for management as opposed to accountants/controllers who prepare figures for external users. So my job requires me to collate numbers from various sources on numerous items and generate spreadsheets to be sent up to management. I also prepare budgets and calculate transfer pricing for intragroup transactions. So thats my job in a nutshell.

Special mention goes to my boss and buddy. I work in a team of 6 people including me and 2 are based in thailand and japan. Im due to replace one girl. So in March the singapore team will comprise of my boss, my buddy and me. Nice and tight. Glad that my boss and buddy are Christians and it really reflects in the way they do things and all. My boss rawks! He is incredibly knowlegeble, humble and ready to teach. Everyone in the office ive spoken to has commented that hes a great boss and im really thankful for that.

In all the job is a good learning experience and also training for me. I dun think its my knida job actually cause it deals alot with numbers, routine work and requires me to be very very meticulous haha. All of which im averse to. But i hope to use this opportunity to develop these areas im weak in and to grow through this job. So its gonna be an interesting journey and im pretty much looking forward to it.

Crabbing at Sembawang

So its my third time crabbing and things are improving marginally. Met up at Yang's place for dinner and headed to Bottle Tree Village with him and Wei Ying. Its on the coast along Sembawang where the Sungei Sampang Kiri/ longkang meets the Johor Straits. We found a nice little spot near the river mouth.



As usual the tedious and sian part about crabbing is baiting the traps. We used rotten Kunings (nasi lemak fish) which were repulsive and nauseating. With the help of cable ties, we got the 3 cages and 2 bamboo traps up in a jiffy. We threw 2 cages and the 2 traps off the jetty nearby and one into the mouth of the river and decided to go wading. Essentially, wading is walking in the shallow water along the coast and trying to spot crabs and prawns and use a net to bag em. So with Yang on the torch and me with the net, we combed the beach but didnt really find anything except small mangrove crabs on the rocks. Gave up after 20 mins.





Then the coutdown began and we ushered int he new year there along the coast. From there we witnessed tons of fireworks lighting up the sky across in Johor. Seemed like every Kampung wanted a piece of the action. Tho there was one particular area that started shooting at around 2330, trigger happy sia haha.



We tried our hands at fishing but the lines got sangkok/snared. So we abandoned that endeavor too. Now we were cold and bored. Naturally, the pyromaniac in me arose haha. Went to gather firewood and we built a nice cosy fire. kept us occupied throughout the night, going around harvesting fuel and kindling to feed the fire. Was really nice and therapeutic just poking the fire and watching the flames dance. I love starting fires haha.





Finally, our catch report. We caught a grand total of 2 flower crabs and 1 prawn. The crabs were miserable. Like the shell only 4cm in diameter. The prawn was a good size la, but not much point in cooking 1 prawn. So we played with em, and gave the prawn to the fishermen and threw the crabs back. Very responsible of us, catch and release. End of the day we concluded that Singapore's wildlife is really in a crap state. think the2 camps of anglers around us only caught one catfish and some other stuff not worth mentioning. Guess this spot is great for chilling and all but the crabbing really wasnt all that zai.

Crabbing at Kallang

Alvin, Joey and I went crabbing last night at Tanjung Rhu, opposite the Indoor Stadium We realised that the Kallang River is FILTHY. But nonetheless, we baited our traps with stinking rotten fishheads and threw em in with high hopes. At the end of the night, our combined efforts yielded one snail.

But it was great fun, just getting out and doing stuff cause theres only so much you can do in S'pore besides eating and movies. Had a great time catching up with each other and eating cold pizza haha. Well like they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. At the very least we found out that Kallang really sucks for crabbing.

My Obituary

Was watching The Kingdom last night and it was a great show, really dig Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights). There was a particular scene that left an impression on me.

In response to a terrorist attack in Saudi, the FBI director sends a response team into the Kingdom in violation of the State Department, due to their aversion of exacerbating the situation. The director is hauled up before the Attorney General who lambastes him for his insubordination and threatens to bury him.

The director then recounts his experience in Nam, when Gen Westmoreland made them write their obituaries during the Tet Offensive of '68 and says, " once we clued in to the fact that life is finite, the thought of losing it didn't scare us anymore. The end comes no matter what. The only thing that matters is how you wanna go out." And with this approach he stood up to the AG in doing the right thing as opposed to being politically correct. An awesome perspective.

I guess as i replayed that scene in my mind over again, it rings true for my life as well. When I finally acknowledge that life is finite and limited in all aspects, theres no more fear, no more tedious deliberation, but the prospect of living fully and totally for God. Like Paul says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." The power of a dead man walking.

So here goes..

Lionel Koh
22 Nov 1983 - Today
A life well spent.

Christmas Eve at Sam's

Its 0110 on Christmas morning and of the party present today, only Hoho, Small Josh, Gab are left, of course with Sam and Cheryl. It was a day of games with Sam pulling out his board games (he got a new Powergrid for Christmas) including Cash and Guns and Corasonne. We later played a drinking game (just water but lots of it) and it was incredibly torturing. Dinner was graciously provided by Sam's floks with 4 large pizzas from Sarapino's and finger food. The highlight of the day, for the guys at least was hide and seek and POW. it was a good chance to get out and play old time low tech games. Hoho and small Josh aced the hide and seek by hiding in the guard house of all places!l. For POW, the POWs had to evade capture and make it safely from one end of the estate to a safe end point while avoiding ambush by the "wardens". It was a uber fun time and a throwback to the simpler games of old. I really miss those old massive wargames we used to have at camps and games were played with brain, sweat and blood.

On the whole it was a good time to bond with the younger ones and get to know them better. I really appreciate these times as i dunno how many more opportunities i'll have once work starts.
It also reminds me of God's providence as I never really felt my calling to the youth and just grew into it. Though i feel really old at times, I wouldnt trade anything for times such as these, to just be able to connect and have fellowship. I really hope the generation of Sam, Chan Hong, Edith, Joanna, Cheryl, Toh, Caleb,David, Keith, Small Josh and all, stay together and grow to become men and women of God, serving and impacting the lives of the ones after em. Theres so much potential in this batch and I pray that they will puruse God with all they have.

ACS Forever

Not the school, but the Assembly of Christmas Scums. Born out of a desire to celebrate Christmas with meaning and great fellowship, Joey and I decided to put together a Christmas party of a different kind. The guest list was drawn up, kept small and close intentionally, so that everyone would have the chance to get to know each other better. I did the menu and with liang's help we cooked up some Irish Stew and Chilli Mussels accompanied with sausages, focaccia and pasta. Cher planed the theme and gift exchange with pizzazz.

ACS is perhaps my most memorable Christmas party and what set it apart was the warmth and how open the sharing was with each other, of course there was Heng to be the butt of all jokes haha. 2007 seemed the year of failed relationships for most haha and the beginning for some, but it was also great to hear of God's faithfulness, providence and love in each others lives. I believe the testimonies would have given Clare and Bryan a glimpse of the kind of God we serve.

In the closing week of 2007, I will be reflecting and evaluating this year. as well as planning for the year ahead. I want to make 2008 a purposeful and fruitful year, and not squander it away in empty pursuits. Merry Christmas one and all.

Christmas at Cheryl's

Monday was a packed day. Went to East Coast during the day and attempted to fish which was pretty successful. I had a pretty good catch consisting of a 500mm Taman fish, big sia! Had to fight just to bring it in, phew! The rain put an end to my fishing and we headed over to Parkway Parade to buy our gifts and chilled out to escape the rain.

Went to Cheryl's place in the evening and the highlights were the great food, making sculpeys (i did a masterpiece of a Big Bird that resembled a demonic yellow thing with multicolored candy rice sprinkled on top) for Rachel and had a ball with the gift exchange. Here are the Polaroids.

Stillness

Today was filled with activity and its been awhile since ive had that much fun. I'll leave that account till when the peektures go up.

I need time to be still before God, to quieten my spirits and be silendt in prayerful contemplation.

The laptop on my lap is reallllyyyy hot. Its a bad omen. I need to go .... now!

KL Weekend

Just got home from my weekend trip to KL with Collin. Stayed at Anjung Guesthouse which was really nice and clean. Basically ate the whole time there and i think i ate my entire week's caloric requirement over the 2 days. The food was great and we lamented at the sad state of Singapore hawker food in comparison.

Stuff that we ate included KL Hokkien Mee, Wanton Mee, Beef Noodles, Penang Char Kway Teow, Assam Laksa, Curry Mee, Cuttlefish Kangkong, Chicken Rice and Char Siew, Ipoh Hor Fun, Roti Canai, Kenny Rogers, Ramly Burger, Bak Kut Teh, Satay and Mee Goreng. Well all of the dishes were shared so its mainly tasting the food haha. Other brainless things we did included watching I Am Legend and Warlords. Incredibly mind numbing shows and really really comical after awhile. Well we had time so wat the heck. Went to the Berjaya Times Square amusement park AGAIN and got nauseated on the spinning rides haha, though pancakes at Dome kinda helped clear it up. Mmm nice fluffy pancakes soaked in syrup haha.

The most ridiculous part of the trip was the journey back. To save money i decided we should take a one way ticket to KL and buy our return ticket for half the price. Lo and behold, when we got there, all the return tickets were sold out. The only alternative was to catch a KL to JB bus and hop onto a JB Singapore bus. We left KL at 1530 (the bus was 30mins late) and reached JB at 2030. Had to queue to buy the tickets for the express bus and the bus left the terminal for the casueway at around 2100. Got stuck in the infamous casueway jam (only on their side) and only cleared Malaysia customs at around 2300. Got to the Singapore side and the queue for the express bus was incredibly loooong. Decided to abandon that endeavor and hopped onto the near empty 950 bus to Marsiling MRT thereafter. Caught the train to Jurong East at 2330 and reached Jurong in time for the last train. So by the time i stepped into my house, it was 0015. So Ive been ont he road for nearly 9 hours. Its crazy. All to save 13 sing dollars BAH! Please if you ever go on a weekend, buy a RETURN ticket! hah. Lesson learnt.

Grades

Gonna sneak in a post before i head for dinner and then to Golden Mile to catch the bus up to KL. Well got all my grades out for this sem and it was indeed surprising haha

Advanced Financial Accounting - B
Advanced Management Accounting - B+
Accounting Theory - A+
International Relations -A

A jolly good set of grades and indeed I have been blessed. Really don't know how else to attribute it cause I was super sian and unmotivated this term. Its a wee bit shy of the grades needed to push me to the next rung of honours but im not too concerned about that.

Midway during the term I thought i was going to fail my AFA module. It seemed insurmountable. I had to devote almost 80% of my study time to that 1 subject with the other 20% spread out across the rest. Im overjoyed for a B cause I was expecting to scrape through with a C. The 2 As i got were in the classes i enjoyed most, but As are hard to come by these days so its really to God's glory.

Well now that just leaves the ceremonial walking up on stage to receive that piece of paper. Adios SMU.

Woohoo im off to KL on jubilant spirits. I crave KL hokkien mee, penang laksa, wanton mee, char kway teow haha. yeahhhh!

Growing

The first day of Rhema has concluded and the games have been pretty well received. The Jump Upz station was a real hit and scrabble turned out surprisingly well too. but more than the programs, I think I've grown in my understanding and experience of God over the last few days. Pastor Lim and Pastor Andy happened to share about the same thing - God's will and purpose for our lives. Essentially, Ephesians 2:10 says we are actually God's masterpieces and that he has actually made us so wonderfully because he has a laid out a plan for us to accomplish, however, whether we choose to do so is entirely up to us. It kinda blows your mind. To think God has it all worked out for us and He wants to use us to accomplish things, if only we were willing. It really makes me evaluate the actions of my life, in knowing that I have this purpose or destiny, I really need to be careful on how i spend this life. At the end im not gonna be judged according to how much I do or accomplish, rather its whether ive fulfilled the plan God has laid out before me. Have I been faithful? Did i run the race well? These questions truly lend a different perspective to the way life should be lived.

Its as though God is beginning to shave away the stuff thats unimportant - the trivial pursuits. Bit by bit, Hes focusing me into a point, shaping and moulding me. Been struggling alot recently and ive grown a fair bit. I must say that God has helped me develop a heart of love and compassion for others, something i never had before. Hes stripping away the character flaws, the rebelliousness, the impurity, the nonchalance. Hes transforming my life to be more and more like Christ. Sometimes after doing something stupid im convicted and i feel incredibly discourage as to why i cant seem to get things right over and over again. But im reminded its a process and im taking it step by step. Theres so much I wish i could change within me and i've always wished that God would change me instantly, but thats not really His style.

I am truly humbled and I am in awe of You. hallelujah.

The Hols Begin

Am almost a week into my hols and im enjoying the pace. Hung out at Settlers with Sam, Hoho and HCH and had a ball tho i think they are really smart cause i keep losing at the games haha. When I was young hur hur, games were much simpler, and winning was simply determined by the throw of your die or acquiring a hotel on Queen Astrid Park. These days one has to factor in permutations and various strategies and change tack with alacrity lest on gets stranded like yours truly. Truly enjoy hanging out and I love you guys. Its my prayer that you all will develop into men of God, acquiring wisdom and understanding and totally sold out for Christ.

Been reading Teaching to Change Lives in preparation for the CMs training this saturday. Its a really good book and i wish i had chanced upon its lessons much earlier. It has really opened my eyes to the essence of teaching and how inadequate and needy i am with respect to this area. I've never though of myself as a good teacher, and this book has served to reinforce that. But whats great is that it says that this awareness of need and inadequacy is the basis for hunger, the intrinsic motivation that will drive learning and developing. It is with such a desire that i am reading this book , to gain insight on how i can be a better teacher. I look back and see a failed teaching experience, mostly under prepared and unstimulating without the heart and not knowing waht to do to change things. however, I also know, that without that miserable experience, I doubt id have been able to appreciate the importance of teaching and the potential it has to impact a generation with the Word of God. It has laid the foundation for a desire to do better, to learn more and to impart into others. I hope that I'll be able to communicate a fraction of what the book holds and to excite the CMs and challenge them to "feed my sheep".

December is gonna come and go with a chockful of program and activity. Got Rhema, my KL trip, Leader's Retreat, yearbook design, dinners to cook for and attend. It'll be a eventful month indeed.

Interesting Finds

Discovered two new joints today that had that special vibe - Recess at Old School and Epicurious at Robertson Walk.

Was about to cross the road to Dhobby MRT in the direction of Park Mall when I made a mention of Mount Sophia's newly opened Old School to Jon. On a whim, we decided to check it out. For the unfamiliar, Mt Sophia is the hill behind The Cathay and it is accessible by a long flight of stairs beside the new condo, which we complained incessantly while climbing up. At the end of the arduous ascent, we found Old School, which was the former MGS, now converted into a bohemian like arts/design cluster. It exudes a laidback sorta charm and is truly an escape from the bustle down below. In the small field next to the quadrangle, we chanced upon Recess which was the only establishment open. Its defining feature is its external seating area, which is a timber decked floor with an open wooden structure, with a mixture of sofas, tables and rattan lounge chairs. With the cool breeze and tranquil settings, it was really unlike anywhere I've been to. Prices were reasonable with a notable mention to the honey lemon ice tea ($3) and the cuppa ($3). An ideal place to hang out and chill and definitely worth a return/s.

In the evening, we had dinner at Epicurious located at Robertson Walk, to celebrate my belated birthday. Thanks Guys! The outdoor seating was pleasant in the cool night with a beautiful river view. Foodwise, the French onion soup was a let down but the mains were delightful. We had a burger, ribeye steak, vongole pasta and salmon. IMHO, i really liked the vongole for its flavorful sauce as well as the burger with its crispy fries and thick juicy patty. Te accompanying peppercorn and herb sauces were flavorful and well done.

On the whole an eventful atas dining day with 2 great finds for the collection.

Milestone

Today i unofficially graduate and this marks the culmination of 16 years of formal education. Goh Keng Swee and Tharman must be proud that im a successful product of their system. Well I want to give all glory to God because He has made this possible and it is indeed a privilege. Oh what elation fills my being! The feeling's kinda surreal but its beginning to die down gradually haha.

Today's AFA paper was surprisingly doable, although im not too certain on the results. its the only module that had me feeling insecure and overwhelmed throughout my SMU life. Machum like the final big boss stage. Great that its cleared haha.

So whats to do now that its all over? Well Im looking forward to Dec to chill, have fun and get a change of activities. So heres farewell academia and helloooo life!

Gratitude

I know ive been whining about how the exams are such a burden and all and how tired i am about all this. I brought it before God this morning and He reminded me of my privilege to study. I was reminded that i am studying because God allowed me to, in order that i might fulfill His plan through my life. I am not studying for grades or a job, i am doing all this for so much more. It was then that i managed to see the bigger picture and it did make sense. Makes you feel kinda silly when you missed the mark haha. I thank God for bringing me thus far and i know I didnt give my best this term. Its a lesson that i'll take to heart and to do everything for His glory.