Crabbing at Kallang

Alvin, Joey and I went crabbing last night at Tanjung Rhu, opposite the Indoor Stadium We realised that the Kallang River is FILTHY. But nonetheless, we baited our traps with stinking rotten fishheads and threw em in with high hopes. At the end of the night, our combined efforts yielded one snail.

But it was great fun, just getting out and doing stuff cause theres only so much you can do in S'pore besides eating and movies. Had a great time catching up with each other and eating cold pizza haha. Well like they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. At the very least we found out that Kallang really sucks for crabbing.

My Obituary

Was watching The Kingdom last night and it was a great show, really dig Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights). There was a particular scene that left an impression on me.

In response to a terrorist attack in Saudi, the FBI director sends a response team into the Kingdom in violation of the State Department, due to their aversion of exacerbating the situation. The director is hauled up before the Attorney General who lambastes him for his insubordination and threatens to bury him.

The director then recounts his experience in Nam, when Gen Westmoreland made them write their obituaries during the Tet Offensive of '68 and says, " once we clued in to the fact that life is finite, the thought of losing it didn't scare us anymore. The end comes no matter what. The only thing that matters is how you wanna go out." And with this approach he stood up to the AG in doing the right thing as opposed to being politically correct. An awesome perspective.

I guess as i replayed that scene in my mind over again, it rings true for my life as well. When I finally acknowledge that life is finite and limited in all aspects, theres no more fear, no more tedious deliberation, but the prospect of living fully and totally for God. Like Paul says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." The power of a dead man walking.

So here goes..

Lionel Koh
22 Nov 1983 - Today
A life well spent.

Christmas Eve at Sam's

Its 0110 on Christmas morning and of the party present today, only Hoho, Small Josh, Gab are left, of course with Sam and Cheryl. It was a day of games with Sam pulling out his board games (he got a new Powergrid for Christmas) including Cash and Guns and Corasonne. We later played a drinking game (just water but lots of it) and it was incredibly torturing. Dinner was graciously provided by Sam's floks with 4 large pizzas from Sarapino's and finger food. The highlight of the day, for the guys at least was hide and seek and POW. it was a good chance to get out and play old time low tech games. Hoho and small Josh aced the hide and seek by hiding in the guard house of all places!l. For POW, the POWs had to evade capture and make it safely from one end of the estate to a safe end point while avoiding ambush by the "wardens". It was a uber fun time and a throwback to the simpler games of old. I really miss those old massive wargames we used to have at camps and games were played with brain, sweat and blood.

On the whole it was a good time to bond with the younger ones and get to know them better. I really appreciate these times as i dunno how many more opportunities i'll have once work starts.
It also reminds me of God's providence as I never really felt my calling to the youth and just grew into it. Though i feel really old at times, I wouldnt trade anything for times such as these, to just be able to connect and have fellowship. I really hope the generation of Sam, Chan Hong, Edith, Joanna, Cheryl, Toh, Caleb,David, Keith, Small Josh and all, stay together and grow to become men and women of God, serving and impacting the lives of the ones after em. Theres so much potential in this batch and I pray that they will puruse God with all they have.

ACS Forever

Not the school, but the Assembly of Christmas Scums. Born out of a desire to celebrate Christmas with meaning and great fellowship, Joey and I decided to put together a Christmas party of a different kind. The guest list was drawn up, kept small and close intentionally, so that everyone would have the chance to get to know each other better. I did the menu and with liang's help we cooked up some Irish Stew and Chilli Mussels accompanied with sausages, focaccia and pasta. Cher planed the theme and gift exchange with pizzazz.

ACS is perhaps my most memorable Christmas party and what set it apart was the warmth and how open the sharing was with each other, of course there was Heng to be the butt of all jokes haha. 2007 seemed the year of failed relationships for most haha and the beginning for some, but it was also great to hear of God's faithfulness, providence and love in each others lives. I believe the testimonies would have given Clare and Bryan a glimpse of the kind of God we serve.

In the closing week of 2007, I will be reflecting and evaluating this year. as well as planning for the year ahead. I want to make 2008 a purposeful and fruitful year, and not squander it away in empty pursuits. Merry Christmas one and all.

Christmas at Cheryl's

Monday was a packed day. Went to East Coast during the day and attempted to fish which was pretty successful. I had a pretty good catch consisting of a 500mm Taman fish, big sia! Had to fight just to bring it in, phew! The rain put an end to my fishing and we headed over to Parkway Parade to buy our gifts and chilled out to escape the rain.

Went to Cheryl's place in the evening and the highlights were the great food, making sculpeys (i did a masterpiece of a Big Bird that resembled a demonic yellow thing with multicolored candy rice sprinkled on top) for Rachel and had a ball with the gift exchange. Here are the Polaroids.

Stillness

Today was filled with activity and its been awhile since ive had that much fun. I'll leave that account till when the peektures go up.

I need time to be still before God, to quieten my spirits and be silendt in prayerful contemplation.

The laptop on my lap is reallllyyyy hot. Its a bad omen. I need to go .... now!

KL Weekend

Just got home from my weekend trip to KL with Collin. Stayed at Anjung Guesthouse which was really nice and clean. Basically ate the whole time there and i think i ate my entire week's caloric requirement over the 2 days. The food was great and we lamented at the sad state of Singapore hawker food in comparison.

Stuff that we ate included KL Hokkien Mee, Wanton Mee, Beef Noodles, Penang Char Kway Teow, Assam Laksa, Curry Mee, Cuttlefish Kangkong, Chicken Rice and Char Siew, Ipoh Hor Fun, Roti Canai, Kenny Rogers, Ramly Burger, Bak Kut Teh, Satay and Mee Goreng. Well all of the dishes were shared so its mainly tasting the food haha. Other brainless things we did included watching I Am Legend and Warlords. Incredibly mind numbing shows and really really comical after awhile. Well we had time so wat the heck. Went to the Berjaya Times Square amusement park AGAIN and got nauseated on the spinning rides haha, though pancakes at Dome kinda helped clear it up. Mmm nice fluffy pancakes soaked in syrup haha.

The most ridiculous part of the trip was the journey back. To save money i decided we should take a one way ticket to KL and buy our return ticket for half the price. Lo and behold, when we got there, all the return tickets were sold out. The only alternative was to catch a KL to JB bus and hop onto a JB Singapore bus. We left KL at 1530 (the bus was 30mins late) and reached JB at 2030. Had to queue to buy the tickets for the express bus and the bus left the terminal for the casueway at around 2100. Got stuck in the infamous casueway jam (only on their side) and only cleared Malaysia customs at around 2300. Got to the Singapore side and the queue for the express bus was incredibly loooong. Decided to abandon that endeavor and hopped onto the near empty 950 bus to Marsiling MRT thereafter. Caught the train to Jurong East at 2330 and reached Jurong in time for the last train. So by the time i stepped into my house, it was 0015. So Ive been ont he road for nearly 9 hours. Its crazy. All to save 13 sing dollars BAH! Please if you ever go on a weekend, buy a RETURN ticket! hah. Lesson learnt.

Grades

Gonna sneak in a post before i head for dinner and then to Golden Mile to catch the bus up to KL. Well got all my grades out for this sem and it was indeed surprising haha

Advanced Financial Accounting - B
Advanced Management Accounting - B+
Accounting Theory - A+
International Relations -A

A jolly good set of grades and indeed I have been blessed. Really don't know how else to attribute it cause I was super sian and unmotivated this term. Its a wee bit shy of the grades needed to push me to the next rung of honours but im not too concerned about that.

Midway during the term I thought i was going to fail my AFA module. It seemed insurmountable. I had to devote almost 80% of my study time to that 1 subject with the other 20% spread out across the rest. Im overjoyed for a B cause I was expecting to scrape through with a C. The 2 As i got were in the classes i enjoyed most, but As are hard to come by these days so its really to God's glory.

Well now that just leaves the ceremonial walking up on stage to receive that piece of paper. Adios SMU.

Woohoo im off to KL on jubilant spirits. I crave KL hokkien mee, penang laksa, wanton mee, char kway teow haha. yeahhhh!

Growing

The first day of Rhema has concluded and the games have been pretty well received. The Jump Upz station was a real hit and scrabble turned out surprisingly well too. but more than the programs, I think I've grown in my understanding and experience of God over the last few days. Pastor Lim and Pastor Andy happened to share about the same thing - God's will and purpose for our lives. Essentially, Ephesians 2:10 says we are actually God's masterpieces and that he has actually made us so wonderfully because he has a laid out a plan for us to accomplish, however, whether we choose to do so is entirely up to us. It kinda blows your mind. To think God has it all worked out for us and He wants to use us to accomplish things, if only we were willing. It really makes me evaluate the actions of my life, in knowing that I have this purpose or destiny, I really need to be careful on how i spend this life. At the end im not gonna be judged according to how much I do or accomplish, rather its whether ive fulfilled the plan God has laid out before me. Have I been faithful? Did i run the race well? These questions truly lend a different perspective to the way life should be lived.

Its as though God is beginning to shave away the stuff thats unimportant - the trivial pursuits. Bit by bit, Hes focusing me into a point, shaping and moulding me. Been struggling alot recently and ive grown a fair bit. I must say that God has helped me develop a heart of love and compassion for others, something i never had before. Hes stripping away the character flaws, the rebelliousness, the impurity, the nonchalance. Hes transforming my life to be more and more like Christ. Sometimes after doing something stupid im convicted and i feel incredibly discourage as to why i cant seem to get things right over and over again. But im reminded its a process and im taking it step by step. Theres so much I wish i could change within me and i've always wished that God would change me instantly, but thats not really His style.

I am truly humbled and I am in awe of You. hallelujah.

The Hols Begin

Am almost a week into my hols and im enjoying the pace. Hung out at Settlers with Sam, Hoho and HCH and had a ball tho i think they are really smart cause i keep losing at the games haha. When I was young hur hur, games were much simpler, and winning was simply determined by the throw of your die or acquiring a hotel on Queen Astrid Park. These days one has to factor in permutations and various strategies and change tack with alacrity lest on gets stranded like yours truly. Truly enjoy hanging out and I love you guys. Its my prayer that you all will develop into men of God, acquiring wisdom and understanding and totally sold out for Christ.

Been reading Teaching to Change Lives in preparation for the CMs training this saturday. Its a really good book and i wish i had chanced upon its lessons much earlier. It has really opened my eyes to the essence of teaching and how inadequate and needy i am with respect to this area. I've never though of myself as a good teacher, and this book has served to reinforce that. But whats great is that it says that this awareness of need and inadequacy is the basis for hunger, the intrinsic motivation that will drive learning and developing. It is with such a desire that i am reading this book , to gain insight on how i can be a better teacher. I look back and see a failed teaching experience, mostly under prepared and unstimulating without the heart and not knowing waht to do to change things. however, I also know, that without that miserable experience, I doubt id have been able to appreciate the importance of teaching and the potential it has to impact a generation with the Word of God. It has laid the foundation for a desire to do better, to learn more and to impart into others. I hope that I'll be able to communicate a fraction of what the book holds and to excite the CMs and challenge them to "feed my sheep".

December is gonna come and go with a chockful of program and activity. Got Rhema, my KL trip, Leader's Retreat, yearbook design, dinners to cook for and attend. It'll be a eventful month indeed.

Interesting Finds

Discovered two new joints today that had that special vibe - Recess at Old School and Epicurious at Robertson Walk.

Was about to cross the road to Dhobby MRT in the direction of Park Mall when I made a mention of Mount Sophia's newly opened Old School to Jon. On a whim, we decided to check it out. For the unfamiliar, Mt Sophia is the hill behind The Cathay and it is accessible by a long flight of stairs beside the new condo, which we complained incessantly while climbing up. At the end of the arduous ascent, we found Old School, which was the former MGS, now converted into a bohemian like arts/design cluster. It exudes a laidback sorta charm and is truly an escape from the bustle down below. In the small field next to the quadrangle, we chanced upon Recess which was the only establishment open. Its defining feature is its external seating area, which is a timber decked floor with an open wooden structure, with a mixture of sofas, tables and rattan lounge chairs. With the cool breeze and tranquil settings, it was really unlike anywhere I've been to. Prices were reasonable with a notable mention to the honey lemon ice tea ($3) and the cuppa ($3). An ideal place to hang out and chill and definitely worth a return/s.

In the evening, we had dinner at Epicurious located at Robertson Walk, to celebrate my belated birthday. Thanks Guys! The outdoor seating was pleasant in the cool night with a beautiful river view. Foodwise, the French onion soup was a let down but the mains were delightful. We had a burger, ribeye steak, vongole pasta and salmon. IMHO, i really liked the vongole for its flavorful sauce as well as the burger with its crispy fries and thick juicy patty. Te accompanying peppercorn and herb sauces were flavorful and well done.

On the whole an eventful atas dining day with 2 great finds for the collection.

Milestone

Today i unofficially graduate and this marks the culmination of 16 years of formal education. Goh Keng Swee and Tharman must be proud that im a successful product of their system. Well I want to give all glory to God because He has made this possible and it is indeed a privilege. Oh what elation fills my being! The feeling's kinda surreal but its beginning to die down gradually haha.

Today's AFA paper was surprisingly doable, although im not too certain on the results. its the only module that had me feeling insecure and overwhelmed throughout my SMU life. Machum like the final big boss stage. Great that its cleared haha.

So whats to do now that its all over? Well Im looking forward to Dec to chill, have fun and get a change of activities. So heres farewell academia and helloooo life!

Gratitude

I know ive been whining about how the exams are such a burden and all and how tired i am about all this. I brought it before God this morning and He reminded me of my privilege to study. I was reminded that i am studying because God allowed me to, in order that i might fulfill His plan through my life. I am not studying for grades or a job, i am doing all this for so much more. It was then that i managed to see the bigger picture and it did make sense. Makes you feel kinda silly when you missed the mark haha. I thank God for bringing me thus far and i know I didnt give my best this term. Its a lesson that i'll take to heart and to do everything for His glory.

My Last Week 14

Its the end of Week 14 of school and its the last of it. Come Monday, the onslaught of the exams will reveal the depth and breadth of my knowledge, or more likely the lack of it. Somehow the only memorable thing i learnt this week is that Habakkuk means vegetable haha.

On Habakkuk, was really surprised after the seminar on Thursday when Hann brought out a gingerbread man with a candle stuck in its nose and celebrated my birthday (22 Nov haha). It was awesome cause all ive been doing each day is studying(shaddup! i try). Thanks Jeanie for the gingerbreadman, still remember the super amusing scene in Shrek 3 haha. Well of course i proceeded to eat the poor fellow from limb to limb, really gratifying. Got a very nice card too. oh received a card from CS and E last week too. So thanks to you all who made it memorable. Much appreciated.

Bought 3 Chet Baker albums yesterday, really getting into the Christmas mood with the laidback melancholic and mellow jazz tunes. Been awhile since i bought jazz CDs. Wanna catch The Kingdom too, by the same guy who wrote Lions for Lambs. Want to go fishing/crabbing and start taking photos again. Oh when will life begin?

Back to work now...

2 Weeks

Thats the time i have left till i finish my formal education. This week will be my study break and the following week will be the exams. Its gonna be a last burst to the finish line and Ive scarce much energy and drive left. I feel like walking out and calling it quits, guess "sian" adequately sums up how i feel. However, i know that it really isn't gonna be for myself that im gonna be working the next couple of weeks, rather im trying to do it for His glory.

Planning my timeline seems to be an exercise in futility haha cause i dun think i could possibly cover everything and that irritates and demoralises me mucho. Guess ill just have to do what i can and let go of what i cant.

So as i begin these 2 last weeks, i covet your prayers that ill be able to do my best and be able to encounter God through this period. Thanks.

Rivers and Deserts

I've been blessed by encouragement in response to the previous posts and im immensely thankful. I guess posting acts as a release and also a way to chronicle this journey, so that in recollection, I can see God's providence and plan unfold, that I may remember my Creator in the days of my youth haha. Things have indeed been better and i guess this sorta thing, one just has to ride it out and the clouds soon break.

Bought a new old CD, Sonicflood - The Early Years. Well its a re-release of their 1996 songs, almost 11 years man! This was the stuff i used to listen and worship to in secondary school and it brings back tons of memories. But above and all this, this song reminds me of the deserts and rivers ive experienced through my walk and all the people that have played a role in my life, and I do hope that I might be that to someone in whatever period and season. Its been great thus far and I pray i'll continue to run with purpose and passion, to receive the crown at the end.


I Have Come to Worship You
Sonicflood

Many mighty rivers have I crossed
Many barren deserts have I seen
And still my heart beats strong
For You, oh Lord
For You have been my shelter
I all of my need

I have come to worship You
Oh, and I have come to worship You

A willing soul and a thankful heart
To find a holy passion just for You
And turn away from the things
That break Your heart
And live my life of sacrifice
Just for You

For only You are worthy
Only You are worthy
Only You are worthy
Of the praise this heart brings

Faith

Of late my faith has been tested with bouts of loneliness and melancholy. Its still a pretty foreign feeling and I cant say im really adept at dealing with it. Its mighty unsettling.

In the course of the testing of my faith i've realised that there are 2 aspects to faith. This isnt based on scripture per se, just my personal rationalising. The first being the conviction of one's belief and the second the nature of the object/person of belief. Im struggling with the latter. Let me explain.

Throughout my Christian walk, ive always been sure of my belief in God and I considered my faith pretty unmovable or strong. In most aspects i think it holds true. However, when reconciled with my recent state of despair, I realised a deficiency of sorts. If it wasnt the strength of my belief then what was the root of my weakness? It dawned on me in service that I've made God too small in my eyes. Sure my belief in Him was strong, but what would that matter if I didnt believe He could do anything and everything.

I've never seen an actual demonstration of God's power, and my knowledge is only secondary. As such, in my mind I never truly believe or realised my God is the God of possibilities and this has limited many aspects of my walk. It affects my worship, prayer and daily walk. I guess I believe fervently and dogmatically in a God who says , or others say is powerful. I kinda never really internalised this concept of an omnipotent Jehovah.

I think it'll take time to grow through this, and its a new challenge to my walk. I can only ask God to open my eyes and my mind and to read the Word for a fresh perspective. Its something I believe will unlock something deep within, when Im able to say with complete conviction that my god is powerful and He can do anything. may the Lord guide my in my journey to know Him more and in yours too.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see ... And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Pain

Its been awhile since ive felt this way. Its raw and deep. I wish it would go away but i guess i need to grow through the pain. It reminds me of my humanity and frailty.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Its times like these i wish i could fast forward things, to a better time, a better place but I want to see the present with a sense of purpose and to be able to perceive its beauty.

Man I haven't posted like this since May. Haha

The Perfect Boiled Egg

In preparation for our movie picnic, i decided to have some boiled eggs to complement the balsamic vinegar mushrooms i made. Now if you're gonna do something, you might as well do it great, not just good.

So i googled out "the perfect boiled egg" and came across an incredible recipe just to make a boiled egg which is oft taken for granted. So heres the recipe:

1. place eggs in pot with the water level 1 inch above the eggs and bring to boil
2. just as it begins to boil, turn off fire and leave for 17 mins
3. remove eggs and place in ice cold water for 2 mins
4. bring original pot to boil again
5. remove eggs from ice water and place in boiling water for 10 secs
6. remove from boiling water and place in ice water for 30 mins

That is the standard to achieve the perfect boiled egg.

I know what you are thinking. Was it worth it and why isnt he studying?? I shall answer the first. It was worth the hour i spent including deshelling the eggs. The eggs were indeed perfect. No grey colouration and the yolks were bright succulent yellow and they were soft and moist, not the dried out pale yellow yolks of mass produced eggs.

So go ahead, next time you have a spare saturday afternoon and attempt the Perfect Boiled Egg Challenge.

Rainy Mondays

Woke up to a cool rainy Monday morning. Did my QT, read the papers and im gonna drink my coffee. "October Skies" is playing in the background and its proving to be a good start to the day. I think this laidback take it easy part of school life is something im gonna miss when i start work. Regimentation and me mix as well as oil and water. But i'll leave that gripe for another time.

Sent me bro off last night. Love going to the airport, but it always stirs the travel bug within me. So many places not seen and traversed. It was a good time of catching up with Ang-eh and Clarence. Till Dec, adios bro and may the Lord watch over you and keep you. May His face shine on you and give you peace.