Kuantan Pics

Its been almost 3 weeks since the trip and these pictures are rather overdue haha. But for the sake of posterity, up they go!

Ultimate Fortunecookie Quote

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That's why its called the present."

HAHAHA.

Well heard it for the first time in Kung Fu Panda. Couldn't help cringing and laughing. Its good man, real good.

Day's starting well. Im sleepy and hungry tho.

Random

Been cycling over the last couple of days to train for the upcoming Osim Triathalon. It's leaving my body sore and fatigued haha. Been out of action for the last month due to the gargantuan commitment from my yearbook, which is at long last ready for print. Commencement is in a few weeks, not really excited. Got to deliver the yearbooks then.

Work's been mundane again and its a lull before July which promises to be one action packed month culminating in Kinabalu. Need to find purpose and meaning in the ordinary.

Working from home today. Weather is nice, moods rather lethargic, mind's even worse haha. Bleah.

Making That Dash Count

Lionel Koh
Nov 1983 - ?

Been reading a great book - When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box(An awfully long title). One thing that left an impression on me was on making the dash count.

We all have no choice over when we came in, how we were born or what we were endowned with, and its represented by the birthday on the left. So we live our lives, get an education, a job, get married for some and one day the question mark gets filled in and we leave this life. We have no control over both dates, but we do have control over how we live that small little dash, and it begs the question, what I am living for?

I've realised since coming back from Kuantan that its all about God and the souls of men. Its something I've benn taught and something my mind always knew, but only just has my mind, heart and spirit been reconciled. Its like an epiphany, an awakening. Its life changing.

I guess I used to worry about what I did, to stay in Finance or move out, to remain in Shell or start my own business, or even to go into ministry. Now I know it all doesn't really matter. My occupation, goal and calling is to save as many people as I can . That is my full time ministry. Everyting else is just a means to fulfil this end. I now understadn my God is in control. He has everything planned and in the palm of His hands. Nothing He has willed can be twarthed and as long as I'm with Him, theres nothing to worry about. Its refreshing and liberating, to no longer be shackled down by the concerns of life, knowing as I plan and work, that He is in control, not me. So no matter what the circumstances, I can smile at the storms or dance in the sun.

Now the task at hand is how to make the time represented by the dash count. Its gonna affect the decisions I make on how I spend my time, money and strength. Everything needs to be evaluated in light of its eternal significance. Gone will be the desire for more stuff, keeping up with the Joneses and meaningless hedonism because they don't matter and cause I don't know just how long more I have before my Master calls me for an account.

So the challenge, both for myself and you reader, is to live life to make that small dash count.

Roadtrip

Its so close, I can feel it. The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. Work has been dull, food tasteless, sleep unstatisfying. My entire being is geared up for tomorrow's trip up North. Its been awhile since I travelled. I need a break, a disruption to the normal routine, a time away from work. A few things I hope to get from this, time off to seek God at the beach and close to nature. I wanna see a different side of Malaysia. Need to feed the unquenchable need for adventure and exploration.

The posse include Joel, Wendy, Es, Jean, Jon and me and we're gonna be starting out from Malacca, cutting through the interior via Segamat and up northeast to Kuantan. Probably camp at Cherating and maybe spend a night at Sungei Lembing. Gonna be full of the sun, sand and sea and tons fo good ol Malaysian food. Can't wait.

Of course there are risks associated with a trip like this. Many things threatened to ground the trip long before it ever came to fruition, first with parents, then with the car. Was told on Monday that the car I originally booked, an Estima had to be sent in for servicing as the a/c was spoilt. They offered a Wish instead but I knew it would be a cramped and joyless ride. So i scrambled to find a replacemnt. I scoured forums and directories and to my surprise found some interesting information on the company I was renting the car from. Apparently they're involved in some scam where they lease the cars from owners who have no means of servicing their monthly instalments and then rent it out. Problem with this, is that its illegal according to LTA rules. Well the hirer wouldn't be implicated in any bust, but if an accident were to occur, then insurance wouldn't cover the passengers as the car was deemed to be rented illegally. SO it was a good revelation and all the more spurred me on to find a more reputable dealer. So i finally settled on a Toyota Picnic, nto as big but adequate for our needs. Got it at a pretty good deal of $120 per day for NTUC members, with no additional cost for driving up. Good stuff in all.

These few days at work have been a bore and I'm merely waiting for 12 noon tmr to bolt out and away. Woooo hooo.

Emo Bus Ride

Long bus rides tend to be emo ones, tonight's was no exception, but of a different kind.

Celebrated Jeraldine's birthday with the RLs at Bukit Panjang Plaza's Jacks Place. Somehow Jacks Place doesn't really serve good steaks, but it does serve up a hearty portion of nostalgia. From the way the steaks are served on a tacky hotplate and the way the still spoon out sour cream, bacon bits and spring onions only after ou get your steak reminds me of my growing up years when going to Jacks Place with the folks was such a treat. Pity their Lobster Bisque soup has dropped in standard, cause I used to really look forward to ordering it with Mom.

We adjourned to Starbucks after dinner and sat around for awhile. It started drizzling and everyone decided to head home. But it was such a nice night, sitting outdoors in the cool of the night with an overly sweetened Caramel Mach, I just didn't want to go home that early despite the promise of a free cab ride. So I stayed back alone and did some reading.

There was a portion in the article I read that struck me, and it had a quote that went something along the lines that,when asked the question of what their life would be like in forty years, most graduates would respond with what they'll have, like being rich, powerful etc, and only a few would respond on the person they'd like to be then. The article then asserts that the few that responded this way, were the ones who know where they're heading.

Where am I heading? What kinda man would I like to become? How can I best position myself to have the most impact? What is God's specific calling for my life? These questions have been on my mind and heart for awhile. Somehow, I don't get a definitive answer, but bit by bit and as the parts are revealed, God speaks to me. So I'm just plodding along for now, doing the best I can, knowing I'm in His hands.

I've been also rather distant the last few days, owing to the stress and weariness. The long bus ride back was a good time to just rest, to seek God and to reflect on these things. It was a good time to take stock of all that has happened and a time for healing. It was a different sort of emo bus ride, the kind that I'd look forward to taking again when the need arises.

Mid Week

Work has been pretty busy this week as its budgeting season. Essentially its getting an idea of how much we're going to spend next year. So i've got to go around, ask the folks to submit on time(half did), answer queries and then fill up a long long template. And since i'm in charge of this portion, I have the luxury of compiling the team's work and reviewing it a final time.

I started the week feeling fearful and insecure. I wasn't sure how i'd be able to cope with the workload and whether I would be able to deliver. Thus it drove me back to the source. I've been going in a wee bit later, so that means I don't get a lift from Dad, thus its either bus or cab to work. But it really does give me more time to rest and seek God in the morning. I've grown alot closer to God this week and hearing His voice is a real treat. I'm also filled with joy thats unexplainable and while I may be physically tired and mentally drained, there is a strength and drive that keeps me going. Thus the ability to overcome this week really comes from my Father, apart from whom, I can do nothing.

Joy

Came across this sculpture titled "Joy" at Botanic. It was around dusk and after the rain. Very surreal.

Introspective Saturday

Its slightly drizzling and nice. Just back from my haircut and mentoring with Suhui this morning. It was about identifying what God is currently doing in my life right now. Luke 24 tells of how 2 disciples who had Jesus walk with them on the road to Emmaus, and they didn't realise it was Him at all. Think the past few weeks have caused me to be really drawn away from God. I know He is there, somewhere, but I'm not in contact with Him. I try to seek Him intermittently in the lulls, but my hurried spirit just doesn't settle and then its time to get up and run again.

Mom's been forbidding me to go on the roadtrip to Kuantan and there is a desire to assert my independence and another to submit, to honour them. One part of me wants to move out and lead my own life, apart from their authority and interference. Such foolishness astounds me yet and yet rebelling is something so innate in me. And its something i've been doing since I was born. But I'm deciding to yield. Sure I may lose the deposit and the chance for a good break, but God is Lord and I want to obey. The challenge now is to yield and submit graciously, not grudgingly and its tough and demanding. But I do wish I had the liberty to do as I wanted, maybe in time.

I'm lost as to which direction I should pursue in the area of ministry, career and life in general. I cant really see past this year. Where is God leading me and how should I position myself. I find myself wading into unchartered territory only able to trust that God will lead me through. I'm doing my best to plan and prepare in this uncertain time and I guess the only thing I can do is to be faithful now and to continually seek God for His direction and wisdom.

I'm feeling a sense of sianess wash over me, something I haven't felt in awhile. But its good as it forces me to slow down and reflect, to ponder and tarry. Its here that I find rest and salve for my soul. To God be the glory, in all circumstances.

APIC Part III: Salmon Overload

Never have I eaten so much salmon in such a short span. Had salmon yesterday for lunch and dinner, as well as breakfast and lunch today. Eating in the hotel is really rich. I've also been drinking only mineral water and I'm getting really sick of all these foods. Its only a few more hours before I can leave this hotel and go back to my normal life - a simple one at that.

Morning was a little exciting as we were looking for a big shot who missed his meeting. Other than that the meetings ran like clockwork. I'm really drained right now and I'm so tired. I've got another telecon tonight and a dinner tomorrow.

One good thing that came out of this was that I saw how business was conducted and it was an eye opener. I mean at times it does look a little comical, especially with the japs who keep bowing haha. A sales and marketing job really does look glamorous, good food, entertainment and travel, but on closer examination, it really is tough and draining. One doesn't see the preparation and work after a night of wining and dining, and not to mention the "fake" nature of such business engagements and relationships. At times the whole thing seems like a charade and can be really contrived at times. Well i'm not sure how things will work out in future and what career path i'll take, i suppose as God leads then.

APIC Part II: Up on the 69th

Well the long day is finally over and im now resting in my suite haha. Took some pictures of it, just for the heck of it. I'll probably be clearing emails and finishing up some urgent work before i hit the sack, waking at 6 for the next day of coordination.

Looking back, today went rather smoothly and I was strung out on caffiene, adrenaline and now after the cocktail dinner alcohol haha. The dinner started rather sian cause I didn't know anyone at all. However as the night wore on, the guests began to leave and there were more opportunities to talk to colleagues whom i never had the chance to talk to back in the office. Met some overseas colleagues too. So it was a good mingle and the champagne was a plus haha. In all everyone was really happy with the cocktail dinner and it was a resounding success.

Due to the busy-ness, I've been struggling with my walk with God. Found myseld often lost in the humdrum and needing to say short prayers just to get back on track. I thank God for His sustenance and strength that has kept me going till now.

In all, its been a great experience today and it certainly adds some spice to the normal routine office life. Leave you all with the pictures from and in my room. Tata.

APIC Part I

Got roped in to help out with the Aisa Petrochemical Industry Conference, a rather big petrochemical conference held here at Swissotel Stamford. So I'm playing the role of meeting coordinator and my job entails getting the meeting rooms and suites(more on this later) ready for use and ushering hosts and guests to their respective meeting venues.

It really is alot of sitting around and waiting for things to happnen once every hour when the meetings end and begin. Other than that, I'm just hanging around the Introbar with nothing much ado. The VPN to office is down and the free wireless from Raffles City just doesn't facillitate work. Plus I'm zonked from getting here in the wee hours of the morning, and I had too much coffee and too little breakfast giving me gastric and a queasy stomach bleah.

Now to the fun part - the perks! Lunch is free at the Equinox and we theres a great spread and an awesome view to match. Ony rpoblem is we have only 30 mins to eat and get back down to the Introbar reception to be on standby again. We're also using suites as meeting rooms, so at night, there isn't anyone using it. As such I'm planning to stay over tonight with a nice suite all to myself haha. The view is awesome!! The minibar is free and the toiletries are from Bulgari!! I'm so looking forward to it haha. Blog more about it tonight in the room.

So the afternoon is going by a tad bit slowly and all the meetings are slated to end around 6. We're gonna then head up to the New Asia bar to help out in a cocktail reception till ten. Its gonna be a long day and I'm running on caffiene and adrenaline. So till later, ciao.

Water Fools

Caught Water Fools, a free performance on the Singapore River as part of the Singapore Arts Fest. It was completely random. Its about this guy whose head bursts into fleames and from then everything runs amok. It was nice with all the pyrotechnics and stuff on fire, I like haha. Some shots of a back alley of Boat Quay and the river. Had good Ramen at Circular Road after. Good stuff.

Matt and Cynthia

They dated for 12 years and tied the knot today. Congrats to you 2 and may God bless you guys in your journey henceforth.

Henderson Waves

Spent the Friday night at the Henderson Waves, the new bridge part of the Southern Ridges project, connecting Telok Blangah Hill Park and Mount Faber Park. Very nice, very classy.

Amazing Grace

Back to Work

After the long weekend its been a struggle to get back to work. Last night I got a mail about a piece of work i did awhile back and submitted. Apparently it was FULL of errors haha. I was attending my course and rushing the deadline and as a result i submitted a piece of sloppy work. On 20/20 hindsight I guess I could have done things differently and it seemed a whole lot easier as I corrected the data than when I was doing it. Maybe I could have done things smarter and better. But I guess I'm learning. The feeling when u mess up really sucks and I resubmitted the data again today and Im just wishing it'll be fine and go away haha.

Its the busy period and I've been having telecons since Monday. I'm getting used to it and its not that bad now. Gonna work from home tomorrow morning to rest and clear up all the work in piece and in comfort haha.

Need to find time to exercise too. Feeeling abit bleah.

Sunday at St John's

Was an eventful Sunday, spent at St John's with Sam, HCH, Hoho and Jeanie. We took the 10am boat from Marina South Pier which cost us a whopping $15 each. Set up camp at one of the huts and played some random games. At close to 12 the guys were hungry and so we ate sandwiches prepared by HCH - tuna, egg and crabstick mayo, with lettuce(not cabbage). Afternoon was spent lazing around and me and Sam took a dip in the lagoon. It was like super low tide, so it merely amounted to a soak. Showered and slacked awhile more before taking the last boat back to mainland. We then capped it off with a BBQ seafood dinner and Ah Balling at Clementi. Cabbed home and KO-ed. I'll leave you with the pics.

Snail Mail

Ah Lau and Joy Joy's Birthday

The four of us had lunch today at Ichiban at Esplanade. Not too bad a lunch, food was decent and the price reasonable. The stuff we talked about really showed our age haha, marriage, 5 year plans, reminiscing about the past and all. It was also a good time of catching up.

More Pics

A Good Weekend

Some pics from dinner using my new Sony phone, looks like im reconsidering buying a new camera, cause i think this might suffice haha. Had dinner with the folks at Geylang. We ate Clam Noodle (machum Chinese style Vongole), Crab Tang Hoon, Hokkien Mee and Satay. Very unhealthy, but incredibly gratifying.

Went bowling with Dad earlier today at marine Cove. The place looks worse for wear. Managed a measly85 and 109. Its been awhile. Last night was great too, with supper at KTM, love the place! Then we headed down to Vivo to catch Ironman. By the time I got home was almost 4 plus in the morning. Very tired, and I'm still rather zonked from it all.

Need Adrenaline

I think i'm seriously understimulated at work, and its making me rather lethargic. I've weaned myself off caffeine, and am eating less. It's still not helping my energy levels. Haven't had time to cycle lately and I think thats a major factor for the lethargy. Went riding today and the weaving in and out of traffic really gave me a much needed kick. I dun mean to complain or whine about work/life, but its really draining me. I stare at the comp for hours on end and the work is really mind numbing. I know there are opportunities to learn and all, but I need stimulus, I need excitement, something dynamic, in a constant state of flux and just the right amount of pressure. Why am I here?

I really can't answer that question as yet, but I know its for a reason. In the meantime, I'll learn to be patient and do my best.

I Miss ...

I miss cooking and having dinners, especially the 2 at Bro CS and Sis E's place. Well at least I'm looking forward to cook on Wed for RL meeting. I've decided to do a simple, tomato basil based sauce with prosciutto and mushrooms. Might add in some Italian sausage as well mmm. Pity the church doesn't have an oven, otherwise I could think of more stuff to do haha.

I miss having nothing on my plate. Had our yearbook committee photoshoot today and I've gotta get the yearbook out by early June. Things are really tight, but its always been a dream to design a book from scratch. Gonna have to juggle this, ministry and an incredibly busy month at work this May. Am I doing too much? Yeah perhaps, but it helps that I'm single and alot freer.

I miss traveling. Upcoming highlights will be the road trip to Kuantan in June and climbing Kinabalu in July. Spent a good amount of time this afternoon researching for the trip cause my mind was so numb that I couldn't do much productive work. Sigh I'm longing to travel and escape and its excruciating.

Woe to Me

Many things have happened since the last post. For one this blog turned ONE on the 25th last month haha. Its been great reading and looking back, and it has surely fulfilled its purpose to chronicle life and God at work.

Its been a long dry spiel and it was finally broken last night at PnP and I was glad I went. Something was different, a kind of stirring, an undercurrent was forming. Could this be the foment of a revival in the making, who knows? The message was on passion, centered on the 3 fold revelation of Isaiah in chapter 6. From his encounter with the living God, Isaiah was changed and it affected his walk, outlook and ministry. When the altar call was given, so many responded on bended knees, a cry of the spiritually hungry for more of God.

The key to a intimate relationship with God is "vision and passion under girded by prayer". It is a challenge to enter his presence, to meet Him at the gate each new day, to renew vision and to stir passion within. Everything sets out to prevent this and it takes an inordinate amount of effort to effect a meeting with the Lord. But when I met God last night I cried as Isaiah did "Woe to me... for I am man of unclean lips..." and the abject depravity and repulsiveness of my inner man became apparent and I knew I could never live apart from Him and I had been so foolish, like an obstinate child bent on his own way. The rest of the night was of renewing the vision once more and empowerment by the Spirit.

I woke this morning with a feeling I haven't felt in ages - that God is with me. It makes all the difference. From weeks of living in dread and fear of the challenges the next day might bring, today felt like victory, like nothing could overwhelm me because my God was with me and it fills me with so much joy.


Had the guys ministry, our 3rd one, after PnP. Joel, Joesph, Corn, Jason and David were in attendance and the venue was Popeye's at T1, where we were satisfied with fried chicken and a mountain of fries and biscuits. At the end there was still a biscuit and a half and I decided to play the number guessing game and we broke the biscuits up into about7 chunks and drenched them in coke, coleslaw, ketchup, chilli and jam. The final tally was 2 each for Joseph, Corn and David, 1 for me and none for Joel. Joseph having to eat the last one got an especially big and gross piece. Will try to post the pic when i get it hahaha. So we settled out vision for this ministry that night and essentially its to see the guys coming into an intimate relationship with God. So it's gonna be exciting as we move ahead to realise something thats been on our hearts for awhile. We want to be sensitive to what God is doing and to move as He does. Pray with us.

A Brief Respite

I realised that I post a fair bit during or nearing telecons. Today is no exception as I've got half an hour to kill before I dial Houston and talk to the old fogeys there. Seriously they're all grandpas and grandmas and I really have no idea what they're talking about sometimes. Well today seems to have a set agenda, so I guess its gonna be productive (ie more arrows). 'Nuff said.

This week has been MAD. I've never felt more stressed these few days compared to any time in my entire working life (which is slightly above 4 months). Its like the stars and planets and DEADlines aligned exactly this week I tell you! Its not difficult work, just that I've got a number of things due in such a short span of time that it drained me and left me spent. As a result, this week I prayed alot.

Every stressed out moment, I just had to close my eyes and pray that God would help me through, to deliver that peice of work before moving on to the next one. Sometimes, I had to juggle a few tasks concurrently. But through it all, God has delivered me whoo hoo. He gave me the strength to continue with my sanity in check.

My buddy kept asking me whether I was ok today, she said that my eyes seemed to get smaller and smaller haha. I even had to buy eye drops today (the ones that Jon uses, which I keep making fun at him for), cause my eyes were just so dry.

Well the work adn the day's not over,but this post and my coffee break has provided a brief respite. Its time to get back in the hole and soldier on. Semper Fi!

The Weekend Has Landed

I'm a quarter through my precious weekend and this week has been one heck of a ride. Its left me tired and spent, yet I've learnt lots this week and I've grown in my walk.

Lets start on Friday, which was Mom's birthday. It was kind of a washout. When I passed her her present, a chinese Christian CD, she exclaimed "Boring". I suggested dinner at the Thai restaurant near my office and she liked the food but complained that it was "cheap". You are most welcome mom! That really capped my lousy week. So I got home and since there wasn't anyone to hang with, I just kicked back and did a bit of reading, but mostly wallowed in my misery. When I reached the nadir of the night, I couldn't take it and I just had to confront God with my mom's lack of appreciation and how crappy it made me feel, plus this week didn't go too well, ie You didn't do a very good job God!

Then the reply came (it always leaves you stunned and speechless) that God reminded me of the times I took His grace for granted everytime I disobeyed, yet His love for me was unchanging. With that, what more could I protest, but ask Him to help me extend love and grace, to not give up, to learn what my mom likes and meet her needs. Someone has to break the cycle.

God also reminded me about our relationship. He gave me a metaphor of a customer visiting a bank teller. That most times our relationship with God is like that, that we approach Him to make transactions and move on and we wonder why we don't hear from Him at times and there isn't any depth. So this challenged me to relook my walk. The 15 min QT in the morning model just didnt cut it for a dynamic and powerful relationship. I neeeded to "abide in Him" and that would take conscious effort to seek and be in Him the entire day.

So I'm reminded that we have the privilege of knowing our God, that He is immensely interested in our lives and invites us to "sup with Him". For those who believe, lets not let a day go by without knowing God better.

For those who don't know my God, He is a God who is waiting for you. We've all messed up in our lives and sin really means missing the mark that God has set. As a result, we were meant to pay the penalty for our sinfulness, yet God decided on His own to take it upon Himself to take our punishment through Jesus dying on the cross. His innocence paid the price for our guilt. Because of this, you have the chance to come and know God. There's no promise of a perfect life on this earth, but a life where u can look and smile at life's woes, knowing that God has a plan and He is totally in control. So the gift is free but it cost much, and if you want to say "Yes" to God, drop me a line or comment and I'll talk more with you.

Ambling On

These few days have been tough and disorienting. Suddenly work has picked up and my body hasn't been able to adjust to the increased stress levels and ive been having problems sleeping and leaves me zonked the whole day. It has affected my spiritual life and im feeling awfully disoriented.

My faith is tested, not so much in my beleif in god, but in my belief that He can make a difference in my circumstances and that He is still unchanging and not distant despite the tumult that im facing. Im learning to trust Him by faith and to cry out for strength and sustenance. Its a walk of faith and its tough but I know He'll see me through.

Worship during RL meeting was good and it ministered and there was real fellowship tonight. I'm in a telecon now, and its really really dry zzz. Pressing on, one day at a time. :)

Morning at Lab

Somehow was rather tired last night after dinner and I realised I was supposed to teach cell this morning, since its the first Sunday haha. Decide to turn in early and wake up to prep.

Got up at an unearthly 0545, packed a few dollars and my Gideon NT Bible and pushed my bike out the door. It was a chilly morning and the roads were empty. Made my way to the ol' Hawker Center at Lab and picked up nasi lemak ikan and teh ping. Headed on to Tanjung Belayer Plaza (The wooden deck) and had a good breakfast with God while the day broke. Spent time worshiping and pulled out my Gideon to read Luke 8 and 9 for today's lesson. It was a really refreshing morning, a good way to begin the Sabbath.

I'm still struggling on street E later, haven't really decided haha, its never been high on my list. But I might just have to suck it up. I'll get back to lesson prep now.

Stop

They say it takes 3 days for a recurring action to become habit. Well today's the third day I've been back on COD ahahaha. I thought just play abit since im bored, but now im beginning to feel its lure, the desire to get XP and level to get that ACOG for my G36 argh. Bit by bit its sucking me in again. Now I need to pull away. Theres too much to do after work than to allow my life to get absorbed into mindless gaming again.

Works been great thus far, nuthing like a few spanners in the works to break the monotony of closing. Getting the hang of most of my jobscope, but theres still stuff to learn. Its amazing what they trust a fresh grad with ahaha.

Tmr's Friday and 1st week of April's gone by. Time really flies.

Shell Life

So heres a peek into my workspace. Nice Herman Miller Aeron Chair in the foreground and the space is really big and comfy. Its Monday tmr and Im looking forward to work.


From L to R: Yi Leng, Rodchana, Me

Sent my colleague Rodchana off today. She was the one I was supposed to replace as she went home to Thailand. Its been a fast 3 months and time has flown by since I joined. Yi Leng is my buddy who has done a great job at helping me feel welcome and inducting me into the company.

Blown Away

Well many of my peers have been to Hillsongs and raved about it bt I somehow was never convinced. I thought well they put up a good show it was jsut another conference so yeah. Furthermore, I'm in the Rhema comm and ive shared this a number of times that i still miss camps. And I've never been completely sold on the idea of a conference. Tonight, marks a turning point.

David happened to send me a link to the opening of the Hillsongs Conference 2007 and when I watched it I was blown away. I've probably replayed it like 50 times and even as I'm typing its still playing haha. I guess AWESOME kinda sums up my reaction.





The first few times I watched it I was like yeah its a really nice show. But it dawned on me that hey it had an impact on me. It made me sense the majesty and awesome power of God as I watched it and stirred something within me. As David and I talked, we rubbed off our enthusiasm on each other and really theres so much synergy flowing for Rhema.

I guess at the end of the day I wanna be part of something that will leave an impact on the participants. Not that we may say we did the best Rhema Conference to date, but that we glorified God! That we will strive to exceed and surpass what we would ormally do, to create a conference on a scale never seen before, but still within our capabilities, to worship God, much like what Solomon did with God's temple. I hope that it'll allow every participant to be stunned and awed into realising theres something more to their current existence. there is a God that loves them and a faith worth being passionate about.

Even as the comm works, i hope you will lift us up in your prayers, that we wont just do the work to make a big conference, but that people will see how BIG our god is. truly then we would have done well. Im excited, and passionate, and it will be a long journey, but I know it will be a fruitful one if we stick to this vision. Whooo hooo!

On a Telecon

Its eight and I've finished a good dinner at home, been eating out too much haha. Home cooked food does taste good. Waiting for the rest of the participants to call in from Houston and Rotterdam. Guess the plus of working in an MNC is the exposure, but that also means working from home at these hours and taking a good chunk of my social time haha. Well I'd probably just head in later tmr as usual haha.

It has been a good week thus far, not that work still isn't mundane. Was feeling rather drained and frustrated for the last few weeks cause I've been struggling quite abit with my purpose and direction in life. Also I was feeling rather distant from God for no rhyme or reason. So these couple of things were wearing me thin.

I realised also that I hadn't been listening much to God and had been talking incessantly because I was afraid to quieten down for fear that I wouldn't be able to hear Him speak and get a deathly silence. I guess talking was within my control, listening was not haha. So I had to yield and let God speak again and to just humbly listen. And it was refreshing just to hear God speak again and to feel His presence around. It did wonders for my soul and refreshed my weary spirit through and through.

So from this, I managed to regain my vision and perspective and now daily I'm striving to honour and glorify God in the littlest of things. Also Ive been watching my words to quit complaining and start praising and worshiping haha. Its really turned my days around and really experience God's joy lifting me up.

Haha the telecon has ended and I'm free for the rest of the night. Woot!

Supposed Kelong Trip

We were supposed to go for a Kelong trip today but it was canceled after much deliberation. Instead we went fishing at Bedok Jetty haha. Well it was a stark contrast to our other experience there when we didn't even catch a single fish. Today we caught tons of fish and they were biting non stop! Must have been the great weather after a week of rain.

Food was also a highlight, having lunch at Changi village and dinner at East coast Hawker Center. Good stuff haha. We then went to Sentosa to catch Songs of the Sea. Well my advide is to just try to enjoy the show ahsha, the fireworks were nice at least and its definitely better than musical fountain. After th show, it was the luge! Its basically a small kart which u race downhill and it really did give me a shot of adrenaline, which was much needed. Its 2am and im half zonked. At last I can retire. A wonderful day with the 3 girls and it was really memorable.

Chilli Plant and Others

Today I planted my Chilli seeds. Yes you heard me right, I finally got around to planting it. My mom had this to say," Wa, no wonder today suddenly rain so heavy!" Incredulous as it seems, but I managed to overcome my inertia and be one of the last few to work on this project of fruitfulness. The moral of the story - its never too late to start haha.

Today I've decided to fast COD4 for an extended period of time. Its hard and as I'm typing, the AWSD keys remind me of the game constantly haha. But I've realised that nothing should master a disciple except his master and when something takes His place its time for action.

Its really hard glorifying God when you feel that you wanna be some place else and when the things before you seem unimportant and boring. As the day goes by I'm trying to pray and to seek God on how I can be a witness at work, to be attractive for my Lord.

I leave you with a rich quote that I came across today,

"Are the leaders of the future truly men and women of God, people with an ardent desire to dwell in God's presence, to listen to God's voice, to look at God's beauty, to touch God's incarnate Word, and to fully taste God's infinite goodness?" - Henri Nouwen

Recall

Today I recalled my application. Not my will be done but Yours.

007 Aspirations

Came across this position in the Straits Times today. Essentially its the Singapore Intelligence Directorate hiring. Its Singapore's equivalent to the MI6 and CIA. Well I attended their career talk way back in October last year and I was rather intrigued. Looking at the job responsibilities and requiremnts, it really intersts and suits me. The only drawback is that its a government job and I'll have to give up my cushy job in Shell.

Ministry of Defence
We are a civilian organisation under Mindef that is rapidly expanding into newly emerging fields. Our work is vital to the safeguarding of Singapore's national interests and effective decision making. We seek change-oriented individuals with the drive and vision to join our team in shaping and directing our operations.

Responsibilities:

• Actively conduct research to seek new information sources.
• Assess, select, interpret and analyse information.
• Prepare timely, accurate and objective reports to facilitate critical missions and projects.

Requirements:

• A degree in Arts, Social Sciences, Communications Studies or Science.
• Acute awareness and interest in regional and international current affairs.
• Strategic and conceptual thinking, with a sharp eye for details, and a natural curiosity for behind-the-scenes workings.
• A flair for learning regional languages will be advantageous.

Come to think of it I'm paid heaps right now, get to go back early, and why am I still unsatisfied? I guess at the end of the day its the nature of the work. Do I really want to be stuck in Finance for the rest of my life? This is a real conundrum man! Well I'll send in my application and see what'll transpire from all this. Haha.

After 2.5 Pratas & Teh

Back from a good supper after GLI and I'm mighty full and awake. I won't be sleeping anytime soon, so i'll prob blog and play a little. Tomorrow i've decided to work from home cause this week's been a lull and its awfully dull, weather included.

Lately I've been kinda under-challenged at work. I've also been whining alot about how I'm not suited for the job and how boring and how undynamic(if theres such a word) it is. I remember the days of consulting at PwC with tight deadlines and tons of research and synthesis and I miss it now and then. But was challenged today that even in the mundane, I can practice seeking God's presence. To give glory to God even in doing the little things, and to be a bright and salty witness for Him. Its something I'll continually struggle with cause I need strong motivations for the things I do and if I dont have any interest in it, I'll switch off completely.

Given how free I've been, its ironic that when I've got the most time, I do not use it wisely. I hardly make time for God and most of it is spent in frivolous pursuits. I'm reminded of stewardship and how we're called to account for the resources, including time, that God has entrusted us with. Sad to say, I haven't done too well lately. I guess at the end of it all, it all boils down to living a disciplined life and its something I'll train for.

Finally ending off, God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Things are bittersweet right now and I'm needing to find solace in God alone.

Falling

by Pocket Full Of Rocks

Father it remains to me a mystery
Why You still love me
When You see the bad in me
You show me mercy
You show me grace
You call me Your own

Day by day I'm finding out, just a little more
Just exactly what the journey is for
It is to love You, hold You, touch You,
to call You my own, my own

And I trade treasure, I trade fame, just to hear You speak my name
I've been touched by You and I will never be the same
I will never be the same for

I am falling more and more in love with You my King
My heart sings a song that even angels cannot sing

Father it remains to me a mystery
Why You still love me, when You see the bad in me
You show me mercy
You show me grace
And You call me Your own

Day by day I'm finding out, just a little more
Just exactly what this journey is for
It is to love You, hold You, touch You, to call You my own, my own

And I trade treasure, I trade fame,
just to hear You speak my name
I've been touched by You and I will never be the same
I will never be the same for

Over the Weekend

Had a rather eventful yet restful weekend. Got to celebrate Joseph's and David's 21st birthdays, and both did in different fashion. We had breakfasts at Botanic for Joseph's and a BBQ for David's. In all the highlight I guess was to grab David when he was blindfolded and trying to whack a Pinata and dunking him in his pool. haven't done that in awhile haha.

Caught Leap Years with Esther on Sat too. Thought it was a real girly show, kinda like fantasy la. Took abit for me to stop rationalizing and to enjoy the show. Though its take on love and life ran mostly contrary to my belief system ahaha. But its just a movie.

Bought Sam, Hoho and HCH lunch on Sunday at Sushi Tei. I think they kinda controlled their appetites but nontheless they were full haha. A good change from the usual buffets cause they cant eat much anyway so might as well eat good.

Its ultra late, been hooked on COD4. I need to sleeeeep!